The Widow
by samanddianefan10
Summary: While Marie tries to put together the pieces of her life, the White family tries to deal with all of the damage that Walt left behind.
1. Chapter 1

She'd always known this day would come, but she had no idea that it would be by Walt's hand that she would lose her husband. For most of her adult life her entire world had been built upon the fact that she was Hank Schraeder's wife. He'd been there for her when at times she couldn't even take care of herself. This was happening all too fast for Marie to even begin to process.

Skylar had offered for Marie to spend the night, but all Marie wanted to do was to get as far away from any reminder of Walter White as possible. Walt. Mild-mannered, smart, strong- and her husband's murderer. It was just too much for her to take.

Falling to the ground, having only made it two blocks from the White household, the tears flooded her face as it hit her that Hank was gone and he was never coming back. He'd called her to say that he'd arrested Walt, and that was more than likely the last call of his life.

"Aunt Mare?"

She didn't want to look up. Marie kept looking at the ground, almost willing it to swallow her whole, so that she didn't have to face anyone.

But this was Flynn, Walt Jr., her own nephew. Trying to catch her breath, she wiped her face, to no avail, and stared off in the distance.

"Aunt Marie...I didn't want you to be alone right now. My mom would be here but she has to wait for him to bring Holly back."

She said nothing. Instead she found herself fiddling with her wedding ring, which did not go unnoticed by her nephew.

"I wish..." he took a deep breath. "I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better."

What could he say? What could anyone say to make up for the fact that her sister's husband murdered Hank?" She didn't say anything; instead she just nodded, acknowledging Flynn's words.

"Do you hate me?"

Finally she looked up at him and shook her head. "I could never hate you. You're my nephew and I love you and Holly more than anything."

"I wish he weren't my dad! I hate him. He's a...he's a monster and I hope his cancer kills him.," Flynn cried out.

"I don't know what I can say. I know I'm supposed to be the grown up but I don't have any answers. The man we welcomed into our home, the man who was the best man at our wedding took my husband away from me! Nothing that bastard can ever do or say can make this all right. Nothing!"

Flynn nodded. "It's my fault."

Now for the first time since she'd heard the news, Marie stopped crying and looked curiously at her nephew."What do you mean?"

Now it was Flynn's turn to tear up. "I should have known. I should have seen this coming. If I'd have known then maybe I could have made him stop. Maybe he wouldn't have done what he did if only I were brave. If only..."

"Oh, Flynn. This isn't your fault. There is only one person who is to blame for this. I'll spend the rest of my life making sure that that monster can't hurt you or my sister or anyone else," Marie vowed.

"Do you want to come back to my house?"

She shook her head. "I can't. I just can't. You go on. Your mom has enough to worry about without not knowing where you are at."

"Aunt Marie..."

She looked up at him.

"Would it be okay...would you mind if I sat here with you for a few minutes?"

She nodded, and so for the next half hour it was just the two of them, wondering how in the world they would pick up the pieces of the lives that Walter White had shattered.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

"_Marie, shouldn't you be with the other ladies, getting your hair fixed and overall-prettied up?" Walt smiled as he approached his sister-in-law as she stepped onto Hank's backyard._

"_Hank-how is he?"_

"_Oh, he's a bundle of nerves, but you know Hank- he's got too much pride to admit to anyone how he's really feeling."_

"_He's really a good guy, isn't he?"_

"_He's the most stand-up guy I've ever known. I can't pretend to understand what you're feeling right now, but know this- Hank will provide for you and everything you've ever wanted from life. You're in good hands." Walt put his hand on Marie's arm for comfort._

_She smiled. Maybe she was making too big a deal of things. After all, couples got married every day. It didn't change things for those other couples, so why shouldn't things get only better for her and Hank? "You must think I'm crazy right now," she sniffed as she tried so hard not to break down._

"_I'd think you were crazy if you weren't nervous."_

"_Were you nervous- when you married my sister?"_

_He nodded. "I'd never been so nervous in my life. After all I was marrying this wonderful woman who was way too good for me..."_

"_And then there was the baby," Marie teased._

"_He certainly helped our relationship progress. But I wouldn't trade a minute of my life with your sister and Jr. for all the money in the world. Family is everything. And now-in just a few short minutes you'll be married and all set for a family of your own."_

_Marie laughed and shook her head. " No, no kids for me. Not yet anyways."_

"_You're young. Maybe you'll change your mind."_

"_Marie!" called out the familiar voice of her sister. "Marie, what in the world are you doing out here? The judge is ready to begin and your hair..."_

"_What about my hair?" Marie's hand flew instinctively to her head._

_Skylar started to speak then changed her mind. "You look beautiful."_

_Marie hugged her, then they all walked back to the house, ready for Marie and Hank's journey to begin._

_00000_

"_You did it." Walt lifted his glass to congratulate his new brother-in-law. "You did well for yourself, my friend. If the happiness I've found with Marie's sister is any indication, I predict a long and very blissful life for the two of you."_

_Hank took a drink of his champagne. "Thanks, man. I tell you, the guys on the force had a bet wondering if I was ever going to take the plunge."_

"_Take the plunge? We've been married for five minutes and already you've found a derogatory name for our marriage?"_

"_Oh, come on, Marie. You got to be hard-headed if you marry a Shraeder."_

_Everyone laughed. Even Marie found herself breaking into a small grin despite the disapproving look she shot her husband. _

"_Oh, Marie, Hank..." Skylar took their hands. "I want you to know that Walt and I couldn't be happier for you. I've always worried about my sister, but now I know that I don't have to worry any longer. She's in good hands, and I just wanted to say...welcome to the family." She leaned over and kissed Hank on the cheek._

"_Oh, by the way, Walt..you're not off the hook..." Marie turned to him._

"_What did I do now?"_

"_I know that as best man you were in charge of my husband's bachelor party. As the one guy on earth, according to my sister, incapable of telling a lie...did my husband behave himself?"_

_Walt chuckled. "Right hand to God I took him out for a steak and then a few beers. No funny business for these two married men."_

_Skylar hugged Walt. "There better not have been. After all., we just finished the baby's room...I'm sure there would be room on the floor for Junior to have a roommate."_

_Hank laughed. "Wow and I thought I was tough! Skylar, how'd you like to come work with me one of these days?"_

"_No! It's bad enough you put yourself in those situations, but you're not dragging my sister into it!"_

_Everyone laughed, then Hank turned to Marie. "You're a real fighter, aren't you?"_

"_I fight for what I believe in. And right now, I believe in you."_

_As everyone 'awwwwed" them, Hank pulled his wife in and kissed her._

_Yes, this was the happiest day her life._

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

The officer escorted Flynn and Marie back to Skylar's home, where she was clinging tight to her infant daughter. Holly had been found at a fire station, and after medical evaluation, had promptly been returned to her mother.

Marie's eyes met her sister's; neither knew just what to say at that moment. In the blink of an eye, the lives of both families were changed, forever, and there was no telling what else fate had in store for them.

"Marie..." a tearful Skylar began. Holly started to call out 'mama' and Skylar attempted to comfort her.

"There is nothing that you can say that will make this right. Not now. Not ever."

"I had no idea...I swear that I had no idea he was capable of anything like this..."

"Oh, you knew," Marie bitterly spat out. "You knew and all this time you've lied. You lied to me, you lied to your son, and for what? To protect that monster you call a husband? Did it ever occur to you that I had a husband to protect, too? Tell me, Skylar, what did Hank do to deserve what happened to him? Your husband's missing, but we both know it's just a matter of time when he's found. What about my husband? He's out there all alone and no one except for Walt knows where he's at. All Hank wanted was justice; what about justice for Hank? Did you ever stop to think about how this would affect anyone but you? No! On the outside you wanted everyone to think you had this picture perfect family trying the best they could to make it in this world. But what were you, really? It was all a lie. Walt never loved you. He only loved himself and to hell with anyone else! You still have a family to protect. You have a wonderful, sensitive son and a beautiful daughter. What do I have? What do I have?"

Skylar nodded tearfully. She knew there really wasn't anything she could say that would even begin to make up for all that Walt had taken from Marie.

She had lost her husband, a long time ago. But Marie was right; she still had her kids. But Marie- what did she have now? For so long Hank had been her world, her protector, her everything. Now what Walt had done had been done, and there was no turning back.

00000

Marie got settled into her hotel room for the night, not sure if she could ever bring herself to go back to the place she called home with her husband. She had known from the beginning that he'd gone into a dangerous profession, but there was something so cruel about his losing his life to one of the people he'd trusted most on earth that she couldn't even begin to wrap her mind around it.

What were his last thoughts? Did he know the end was near? Did he try to call her one last time? Was he afraid, dying god knew where all alone?

This couldn't be real. It just couldn't.

Walt was a liar. Who knew if he was even telling the truth about Hank? Maybe, for some sick reason he knew where Hank was and just decided to lie once again, perhaps to buy him some time on the run.

That was it. Hank was fine, he would be coming home to her. He was probably at home right now waiting for her, wondering where she was at.

She opened the door and told her police escort to take her home. At first he refused, but after seeing how determined she was, he drove her back to the place she'd shared with Hank all those years.

Standing in the doorway, she looked around, praying he would come out from wherever he was hiding. Slowly she took a few steps, examining the place carefully for any trace of her husband.

"Hank?" she called out, meekfully at first, not wanting to believe that any of this was real.

"Hank!" She ran to the bedroom, calling out his name until she grew hoarse.

The garage. He had to be in the garage. So slowly but hopefully she opened the door to the place where Hank spent most of his free time. Beer. Minerals. Boxes upon boxes. He was there; everything in the space screamed out his name. But realization slowly sank in- her husband was never coming home.

Falling to her knees, Marie hit the floor and didn't even care if she got up again. Hank had saved her from herself during some of the most difficult times of her life, and she would never get the chance to thank him for loving her even when she wasn't so lovable.

How she would make it through the night, she had no idea. But for now, she was all alone, and the thought scared her more than anything else in her life ever had.

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

"Mom?"

Skylar looked away from the window to see her oldest child standing in front of her. At that very moment her heart could not possibly ache any more than it did right then. Not only had she lost her husband, her dreams of happy ever after, but even more significantly, her children had lost their father. She'd never felt so helpless in her life.

Junior had been dealt an unfair hand in life, to be sure. Born with a disability, he'd learned to be strong and courageous, mostly by observing his father. From the time Junior was placed into Walt's arms for the first time, Junior had, quite simply, adored his father. Worship was probably a better word. Though they'd had their differences over the years, deep in his heart his father was his hero, and had taught him all about being the kind of man he'd always wanted to be.

Junior was so young, so innocent. Holly was still a baby; thankfully she would not have to come to terms with the man her father had become, not yet anyways. But Junior-even though she'd tried to shield him from life's difficulties she knew she wouldn't be enough to help him come to terms with the man his father was.

"You should get some sleep. It's late."

He shook his head. "I can't sleep. I just wanted to...I wanted to check on you."

She smiled. "Can I get you anything? Would you like me to make you an early breakfast?"

He nodded. "I'd like that."

So without another word, Skylar set upon the task of frying some eggs and bacon, every few minutes checking on her children.

Finally they both sat down to eat, with Junior playing with his food at first.

"Son...I know I haven't been a very good mother. But I want you to know how much I love you and your sister. I've made so many mistakes- but loving you and Holly aren't one of those. I wouldn't trade a second with you two for anything in the world."

"Why...why didn't you tell me?"

She took a deep breath. "I guess I wanted to protect you."

"Don't you think...don't you think I'm grown up enough to know the truth? I'm not a baby anymore, Mom," Junior exclaimed.

"I know. But I had to make a choice- and I chose to protect you. I only hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me."

"I don't know. I don't know what to think. I know my dad isn't who I thought he was, that he's a very bad man. And now all the kids at school are going to find out. Everyone will make fun of me!"

Skylar wanted to cry, but she knew she had to be strong for Junior's sake. "No, they're not. They're going to understand that you aren't responsible for your father's actions. They might even surprise you..."

"Stop it! Stop it Mom! We both know kids are so mean. I've always been made fun of for being different, for talking funny and walking funny."

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"Because! I wanted to make Dad proud! I thought that if he knew what's been going on then he'd be ashamed to go to work. That he'd be ashamed that I'm his son."

She reached over and took his hand. "Look at me. Look at me. Your father has always, always been nothing but proud of you. He loves you more than anything in this world..."

"Then how could he do this? How could he destroy our family?"

It was so complicated. How could she make him see that his father hadn't always been this...this, whatever he'd become?

"People make choices. He just made some terrible, terrible choices. He's going to have to live with what he's done for the rest of his life."

"He's not the only one. Aunt Marie has to live with it. You and my sister and I all have to live with it."

"Junior..." a single tear fell from her face. "I understand that you hate your father. Do you...do you hate me too?"

He didn't hesitate for a minute. "I could never hate you, Mom. I love you."

That was exactly what Skylar needed to hear at the moment. "I love you too, son. More than you could ever know."

Just then Holly began to stir, so Skylar went to check on her, leaving a very hurt and very confused Junior alone with his thoughts.

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

_As Marie spread out the blanket, Skylar carried the picnic basket and, when Marie was finished, she placed it right in the middle._

_'This is nice," Marie smiled as she opened the bottle of wine. "Why don't we come here more often?"_

"_I don't know. I guess I've been busy with work and all..."_

"_And don't forget about your new boyfriend!"_

_Skylar laughed."Yeah. That, too."_

"_That too? This is the first time in ages that you've actually had a boyfriend. I was beginning to think that you secretly went and bought yourself a chastity belt!"_

"_Marie!''_

"_What? Don't tell me that you and Walter haven't done, you know...the nasty!"_

_Turning bright red, Skylar shook her head. "I am not going to talk about that, most certainly not with my sister!"_

"_Why not? We're sisters. We're supposed to tell each other everything. So how about it? How is he?" Marie persisted._

"_I do not wish to talk about this with you or with anyone else."_

"_Let me guess- he's a missionary kind of guy. I bet he makes you turn the light off, and when you're done he takes about five showers just because he can't stand to be so 'dirty!"_

"_Okay, we're about finished with this conversation. Besides- I notice that you've been free on Friday nights. What's up with that?"_

"_I don't know. I just am tired of all the bullshit guys put you through. In the beginning, they notice everything about you. It's 'Marie have I told you how beautiful you are? Marie I really really want a commitment. Marie I can see myself spending forever in your arms. A few weeks later and you find out Mr. Right has a Mrs. Right and a baby on the way. I'm just tired of it all."_

"_Oh, Marie...I had no idea..." Skylar sighed._

"_Yeah, well, that's the story of my life. I am finished looking for the one. I'm on my own, with no one to tell me what to do, who I can talk to or what to wear. I am happy, Skylar. Really."_

_Skylar looked at her doubtfully. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."_

"_What?"_

"_Nothing. Anyways you're young. You have plenty of time." Skylar looked away, her glass of wine still in her hand._

"_What? What are you looking at?"" Marie strained her neck only to see what it was that had caught her sister's eye. "Oh, my. Would you look at that?"_

_Skylar quickly turned her head. "I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Yes you do! I saw you watching those hunks over there playing football! Don't worry, I won't tell Walt,"Marie laughed._

"_I was not looking!"_

_Marie patted Skylar's hand. "It's okay. You're taken, not dead." She turned her attention to the ball players again. "Oh, my, my. Would you look at that tight end on the tight end!"_

_They both laughed. "He is kind of cute," Skylar laughed. "I wouldn't have to worry about crossing the street at night with him. He's built like a house!"_

"_Yeah, but he's probably your stereotypical jock- all brawn, no brain."_

"_There's only one way to find out." |With that, Skylar stood up and before Marie could stop her, she headed over towards the playing field._

_Marie was mortified. Usually she was the crazy one, the spontaneous one, but for now there was no stopping her sister. _

_She watched as Skylar waited until the guys took break and before Marie could protest she approached the man they were talking about only moments before._

_Before Marie could retreat, Skylar and the young man were headed her way. This was so embarrassing!_

"_Hey there," he offered his hand. "I'm Hank."_

_Marie said nothing; instead she just shook his hand, not bothering to make eye contact._

"_Anyways...your sister said you guys were watching me and my buddies play..."_

"_I don't know why she would say that. My sister is a pathological liar."_

_Hank laughed heartily. "It's all good. They're a bunch of good guys. Mostly they're the guys at work. We like to blow off steam after a hard day,"_

"_See, Marie," Skylar prodded. "He has a job! That's a plus, right?"_

_Marie wanted to strangle her sister. "Look, I don't know what my sister's told you, but I'm really not..."_

"_All she told me is that you just got out of school. Something about the medical profession?" Hank asked._

"_Yeah. Yeah. "_

"_That's cool. Anyways, I should probably run. I just had to stop by and introduce myself to the prettiest girl in the park."_

"_Oh, please, you probably say that to all the girls," Marie huffed. "You probably said that to my sister until she told you she had a boyfriend."_

"_I'm saying it to you, ain't I?"_

_Even Marie had to smile._

"_Anyways, one of you two gorgeous ladies got a pen?"_

"_I do," Skylar replied quickly. She handed it to him and then he proceeded to write his number down._

"_My boyfriend and I are having a cookout next weekend," Skylar spoke up. "Maybe if you're free, that is, if you want to, you could join us."_

"_Yeah. I'd like that. Nice to meet you, Skylar. And you," he nodded at Marie. "I'm afraid I still don't know your name."_

"_Marie. My name is Marie."_

"_Well then, Marie...give me a call. Next weekend sounds like fun. And Marie..."_

"_Yes?"_

"_I don't know. I don't know. I guess I was just going to say it's nice to meet you. And hopefully I'll see you again."_

_With that, Hank walked away, leaving Marie to wonder just what her sister had gotten her into. He might have seemed like a nice enough guy, but one thing was certain: she was not about to give her heart away to him or anyone else._

_Little did she know that fate had other plans for her and Hank. _

0000

Marie woke up with a startle, automatically reaching for Hank. But this was not their home, and he was not there. Now all she had were her memories, and even Walter White couldn't take those away from her.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

As Skylar awoke from a short nap, she found her thoughts turning to Marie. She had done nothing wrong, but thanks to Walt, was now a victim of her husband's actions.

What must she be feeling right now? As much as Skylar hated Walt, even she didn't want him dead. He had cancer- certainly he had a short shelf life. How he would spend the rest of his days was anybody's guess. Would he hide out, living the rest of what time he had left a criminal? Would he give himself up to protect his family? Not likely, but it was hard for her to know just what her husband was capable of these days.

Would he return, terrorizing her family however way he could? As Skylar looked around her house, she saw the portrait of him staring at her, taunting her, daring her to move on from him. She knew what she had to do.

As the kids were still sleeping, she knew she had to act fast. Furiously she removed the portrait and slammed it onto the floor. Still, it remained intact. She started stomping on it with all of the anger and hurt inside of her. Not for one more second could she take looking at his evil face. This was not the man she'd once loved and vowed before God to stand by for the rest of her life. In his place was a monster, the face of pure evil. Never before in her life had she felt such hatred for a human being,

Not wanting to disturb her kids, she grabbed the portrait and ran outside. Looking around desperately, her eyes focused on a metal object on the back seat of her car. A tire rod. Perfect.

After grabbing it, she turned her attention to the portrait and with all of her might she began to tear it apart. Over and over again with all of her might she used her entire body strength to tear into pieces that godawful reminder of the life she once had.

After a few more hits, she tossed the rod aside and without another thought Skylar picked up the pieces and tossed them where they belonged- in the garbage can.

Taking a deep breath, she returned to the house where her kids still slept, and sat down, exhausted, on the sofa. She picked up the phone to call Marie when a shiny object on her left hand caught her eye. It was her wedding set.

She'd worn them for so long that it took a minute for her to pry them off, but once she had she felt an immediate sense of relief. No longer was she tied to the monster that had once been her husband.

At one point she had told Walt that she would give the set to Junior when the time was right. Now, everything had changed. The last thing he needed was a reminder of the man who had hurt his family, so she thought about what she could do with it.

Feeling inspired, she calmly walked to the bathroom, put the toilet lid up, and without hesitation threw the rings into the toilet.

After flushing it, she watched with no remorse as her tie to Walt disappeared forever.

0000

"Marie? It's me. I wanted to call and see how you were doing. Is there anything I can do for you? I don't...I don't really know what to say. I love you and will do anything..."

She put the receiver down, not knowing what to say to her sister. What could she say?

As she felt tears start to come to her eyes, Skylar took a deep breath. She would not- could not- shed a single tear for Walt. She had to be strong- hard days were just on the horizon.

If only she could talk to Marie, if there was any way to make her understand that she had no part in what Walt had done to Hank. That she would have protected him with all of the strength that she used to fight for her own kids. Most of all, Skylar wanted Marie to know how much she loved her no matter what.

Right now she knew she was the last person Marie wanted to see. Okay, she thought. All she needs is time. She'll come around. She can't hate me forever.

If there was a special place in hell reserved for Walt, then why did it seem as if she was living that hell right then and there?

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Marie checked her phone, only to see four missed calls from Skylar. As much as she wanted to pick up her phone and return her calls, she just couldn't do it. Not now.

Maybe in time she would be able to get past Skylar's role in Hank's death, but for right now, she just couldn't bring herself to forgive her. They'd been through so much together, but this- this was just too much to take in. Her husband was gone, and nothing Skylar could say or do would make this all right.

Of course, there were the kids to think about. Skylar would certainly have her hands full both protecting and comforting her children. And Marie certainly did care about her nephew and niece. Yes, she would check in on them, just not at that moment.

Just then there was a knock on her hotel room. She looked like shit, but she didn't care. Maybe it was someone who knew something-anything-about the whereabouts of her husband.

She opened the door cautiously, then opened it up when she saw that it was Hank's boss.

"Hello," she said softly as she allowed him to enter.

"Marie...I just came here to personally tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Hank was one of a kind, and he was a hell of an agent. More importantly, he was my friend. I know there's nothing I can say that will make this better, but I wanted to let you know that we are doing everything we can to...to find him. We will leave no stone unturned. Our hearts and thoughts and prayers are with you during this terrible time. Is there anything you need for us? Anything we can do, anything at all?"

"You can bring me my husband back!" with that, Marie started to shut the door, but he stopped her.

"Marie...there's one more thing you should know."

"Has Walt been caught?"

"No, I'm afraid not..."

"Then I don't see what you can possibly tell me that will make this all better!"

"Gomez is missing."

She stared at him for a minute, trying to comprehend what he'd just told her. "Gomez?"

"Yeah. We figure he was on a stakeout with Hank when Walter somehow managed to manipulate the situation. All we know is that White's on the run and two agents are missing..."

"Is there anything else I need to know?"

"No."

She finally shut the door and sat down on the edge of her bed. How many people had to die before Walt could be stopped?

0000

"Marie!"

Marie walked right past her sister and the bodyguard and looked around. "Flynn? Are you here?"

"Coming Aunt Marie!"

His eyes met hers apologetically, and he searched desperately for the right words to say. But nothing came to him.

Dectecting the sense of despair and helplessness from her nephew's demeanor, she walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Flynn...I came to talk to you. Skylar has no say in this discussion. I want you to come stay with me."

He looked at his mom before answering. "I can't. My mom ..Mom needs me."

"What I think your mom needs is knowing that you and your sister are safe. I will do everything in my power to provide you both with the security that your mom obviously can't." With that, Marie shot her sister the dirtiest look she could muster.

"Marie.." Skylar approached her and took her by the arms."You're not thinking straight. I know you're hurting. But we all are. There is no way I'm going to lose my children, not now, not after everything we've been through."

"Don't touch me!" Marie angrily pulled away. "You don't get to choose anymore. You've made your decisions and you have to live with them. We all do. I couldn't be there for my husband, not when he needed me the most. But if you think for one minute that I'm going to stand by and watch you jeopardize your children's lives once again, you have another thought coming to you."

"Flynn, please go to your room. I need to talk to Aunt Marie for a minute," Skylar ordered.

"Marie," she continued once her son had obeyed her. "I know you're hurting and I get that you only want to protect my kids. I get that, I really do. But I can't put my kids through any more toil than what they've already been through. I need them."

"You need them? How selfish are you? You kept them in a house with that monster, just to feed your own feelings of security. You always say you pride yourself in being a good mother? Why don't you start being a real mother by doing right by them for the first time in a long, long time?"

The tension between the sisters was almost palatable. "You're not taking my children," Skylar said firmly.

"You know that Flynn and Holly are not safe. You know what your husband is capable of, more than anyone in this world. He kidnapped Holly! This time, he brought her back. But what about next time- and trust me- there will be a next time. I don't think Walt will be so giving the next time."

"Marie..." Skylar said, her voice softened and she placed her hand on Marie's arm again, this time in a very gentle manner. "Marie, I love you. Nothing will ever change that."

Marie wanted to yell, to scream, to lash out. But suddenly, to Skylar's surprise, she doubled over, clutching her stomach.

"Marie? Honey, are you okay?" With that, Skylar helped her sister over to the couch.

Still clutching her stomach, Marie shook her head. "I'm not okay. I'll never be okay as long as I live."

"Can I get you anything?"

"I don't..I don't really feel well. Would you mind if I laid down on your bed?"

"Of course. Let me help you."

Too overwhelmed to protest, Marie allowed Skylar to help her to the bed. Without another word, she pulled the blanket over her head and quickly fell asleep.

tbc


	8. Chapter 8

The cold, hard and smooth texture of the tiles barely registered with Marie as she hit her knees. She couldn't concentrate on anything other than emptying her stomach of the terrible feeling that had overcome her.

Finally, when she was finished, she immediately turned on the faucet of the sink and, cupping her hands, took in as much water as possible, rinsing and rinsing until the vile taste left her mouth. As she put the cap back on the mint-flavored mouthwash, her eyes made contact with her reflection in the mirror. Staring at the image, she quickly started to pinch her cheeks, trying in vain to restore the color that had been drained from her face.

"Marie? Sweetie, are you okay?" came the voice of her very concerned sister.

Marie started to respond but found herself choking on her words. After another minute or so, she finally managed to spit out a quiet 'yes.'

"Can I come in? You were out of it for a long time, and I just want to know how I can help you. Anything you need, I will be happy to help. Sweetie, all you have to do is open the door."

Skylar sighed, figuring that as usual,Marie would yell at her or shut her out. Not that she could blame her, but it was tearing her apart knowing that Marie hated her, that she blamed her for everything. If there were only a way, any way, she could get through to her and to let her know that she had no idea Walt was capable of doing what he had done. If only...

To Skylar's surprise, Marie flung open the door and ran straight to Skylar's arms. Instinctively, Skylar was a nurturer. Having a child with a disability had made her quite compassionate, and so it was without a moment's hesitation she wrapped her arms around her baby sister and started to pat her back soothingly.

As Marie broke down, sobbing onto Skylar's shoulder, Skylar desperately tried to think of what she could say. "Oh, honey, it's going to be okay. We're going to get through this. I don't know how but we've both been through so much, we have to stick together. You and my son and daughter are all I have. I don't...I don't want to lose anyone else I love."

As they stood in the hallway, both at a loss for words, the moment of silence was broken by the sound of Holly crying.

Skylar pulled back, ready to get her when Marie stopped her. "Please- let me."

Skylar nodded and then watched as Marie gently picked up Holly.

"Hi there, Holly. It's your Aunt Marie," she cooed as the smooth sound of her voice instantly calmed down the baby. "I want you to know how much I love you. I love your brother and your mother and you and I'm always going to be here for you. Don't you worry about anything. All I want you to do is to grow up safe and sound and happy and loved. We all love you. I love you." With that, Marie pulled Holly close to her chest and walked around slowly. Then she started to hum a lullaby, bringing tears to Skylar's face.

Holly yawned and began to rub her eyes. "Oh, sweetie, you're so sleepy! It's okay. Aunt Marie's going to lay you down in your crib, and I promise I will stay with you until you fall asleep."

As Skylar watched Marie taking care of Holly, she closed her eyes and was transported, for a minute, to a very different time of her life.

"_Skylar?"_

_Little Skylar was so happy to see her mommy again. She had been gone for just a few days, which seemed like a lifetime for a six year old child._

"_Mommy, Mommy!" She ran to her, but her father stopped her._

"_Not now, Skylar. Your mother has been through a lot. She needs to rest."_

"_Mommy?" a tearful and worried Skylar looked up innocently at her mother._

"_It's okay. I suppose I can manage a hug for my best girl." With that, her mother leaned over and hugged her, until she let out a small cry._

"_Mommy? Are you okay?"_

"_I will be. I just hurt, only a little bit. You see, Mommy just came from the hospital..."_

"_Hopital?"_

"_That's right. Your daddy and I have a surprise for you."_

_Just then Skylar's father returned, carrying some strange contraction. Skylar had no idea what it was or what was in it...that was, until she heard a wail._

"_Skylar...Your father and I want you to meet your baby sister. Her name is Marie. Would you like to see her?"_

_With a joyful grin on her face, Skylar nodded. Her father lowered the baby carrier and all at once, Skylar felt something she had never felt before- pure love._

"_What do you think, Skylar? Do you like her?" her mother asked._

"_She's pretty!"_

_Her parents laughed. "Yes, she is. But so are you, sweetheart. Don't you ever forget that," her father reassured her._

"_Marie..." Skylar cooed happily as she gently touched her sister's face. Yes, she was really, really happy._

After a few minutes, Marie returned with a small smile on her face. Skylar was so relieved, so happy, that she went over to hug her sister once again.

"What was that for?" Marie asked as she finally pulled away.

"You're so good with her. I want you to know you can spend as much time with her or with Junior as you like."

"Thank you." She wiped the tears from her face. "I'd like that."

"How are you feeling?"

"A little better. I probably should get going..."

"Wait. Will you do me a favor?"

Marie looked at her curiously. "What's that?" 

"Take care of yourself. It wouldn't hurt to see a doctor, you know." Always, always the big sister.

"I'll be fine. Don't make a big deal out of nothing."

"Promise me you'll go. In fact, why don't I make an appointment. I can go with you."

"Really, you're making a big deal of things..."

Before Marie could protest any further, Skylar had picked up the phone and made an appointment.

"Tomorrow at ten. I'm going to go with you. No excuses."

Marie rolled her eyes. "Whatever." With that, she left, and an exhausted Skylar laid down on the couch, hoping to enjoy the quiet for as long as she could.

tbc


	9. Chapter 9

While Marie waited, rather impatiently, for the doctor to come back and tell her that she was fine, that her sister had been overreacting, Skylar excused herself. She saw the doctor coming out of another room and she seized upon her chance to talk to him alone for a minute.

"Dr. Steinburg.." (She hated the name- it was too much like the worst name in her world, Heisenberg.) "There is something you need to know about my sister."

"Yes, Mrs. White?"

"Skylar. Please call me Skylar." She definitely needed no further reminder that she was married to America's most hated man. "I thought you should know this- she's been sick...and you might think I'm crazy, but is there a chance that she could have been poisoned? I know how farfetched this might seem, but after all, someone murdered her husband, and who knows what kind of people that man associated with? I want you to do tests, whatever tests possible, but I need to know that she hasn't been poisoned."

Dr. Steinburg smiled compassionately. He'd heard all about Walter White, and he didn't blame Skylar for her concern whatsoever. "I am happy to tell you it's nothing like that. In fact, I have some rather good news for your sister."

"Good news? Her husband is dead; what possible good news could you have for her?"

The doctor checked his chart, then looked up at Skylar. "Your sister is going to have a baby, in another seven months or so."

The thought hadn't even crossed her mind. "A baby? She's pregnant?"

He nodded. "Both a urine test and a blood test confirmed it. Let's go in to tell her, shall we?"

Still reeling in shock from the news, Skylar couldn't speak but managed to nod her head.

0000

"Marie?" The doctor announced himself with Skylar not far behind him.

"Mrs. Shraeder."

"Of course. Mrs. Schraeder...I have some news for you. I hope it will please you, considering everything you've been through lately."

"Good news? Skylar, what in the world is he talking about?"

She put her hand on Marie's, and smiled warmly. "Marie, you're going to be a mommy."

Marie stared in disbelief as she tried to process what her sister had just told her. "It can't be. My husband's dead. There's no way I could possibly be..." she couldn't quite bring herself to say the word pregnant.

"Mrs. Shraeder, your pregnancy occurred before..all of this. You appear to be two months along, but we'll need an ultrasound to confirm this. Haven't you noticed anything unusual, a missed period or two, nausea, vomiting, anything?"

"I just assumed it was because I've been so upset. The thought never crossed my mind. How could this happen to me right now? I can barely take care of myself- I just can't see me being able to take care of...of..."

"A baby," Skylar smiled. "It will be okay. You have me and Junior and we'll be there for you. You can get through this..."

"Don't you tell me I can get through this! My husband is dead and now I'm all alone with a kid who will never, ever get to see his father! This is crazy. I can't do this! I just can't."

"I know you're in shock now, but give it time. Why, my kids are the best things to ever happen to me, and I'm sure once you hold your little one for the first time, you're going to have a whole new outlook on life..."

"I don't want a new outlook on life! I want Hank back! Can you that for me? Can you?" Marie spat out bitterly.

"Marie..."

"I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear how good and wonderful life will be. My kid will never know his father, never get to know what a wonderful man he was. Your kids knew their father, and I'm sure that not all of their memories will be bad. Most of them will be, of course, but at least they got to know their father! What about this kid? He's already got a raw deal in life and he hasn't even been born yet. What will he have? A scared shitless mother who can barely get out of bed in the morning, and the knowledge that his uncle killed his father? What kind of life is that? I can't do this. I'm not strong. You've always been the strong one. When you found out that Flynn had cerebral palsy, you didn't even flinch. You did what you had to do to raise him into the wonderful young man he is today. You knew what to do. What about me? My life is falling apart, I'm a total wreck, and I don't know if I can ever love anyone again."

"Marie," Skylar smiled as she took her sister's hand. "Do you hear yourself? You've just referred to your baby as a 'he'- several times. Is that what you want, a little boy? Deep down I think you must because you've already called him that. With both of my kids, I knew as soon as I found out I was pregnant what they would be. It's called mother's instinct. It's the greatest force in the world, and it seems to me you already have it."

Marie stared down at the boring black and white tile of the doctor's office. This was all happening too fast, much too soon. All she could think of was that it should have been Hank there with her, Hank telling her it was going to be a boy, Hank taking her out to celebrate. This should have been one of the happiest days of her life; so why did it feel as if her life was over?

Tbc

**A/n: I know, a cliché unexpected pregnancy. But I have a reason for this and a vision of how I want it to play out. Ultimately, this is a love story first and foremost. The show focused on Walt's twisted idea of love for his family. I want to explore Hank and Marie's story as well as the love between the sisters, as well as Skylar's love for her kids. I hope that you will trust me enough to allow things to play out, and thank you all for reading. **


	10. Chapter 10

As Marie lay on the cold, impersonal exam table waiting for the doctor to return, she closed her eyes and let her thoughts carry her away.

"_You know this is going to be a boy, right? Shraeder boys are strong, hard-headed. As much as I love Junior, it will kind of be nice to have someone to throw the old pigskin with every now and then."_

"_Oh,Hank. For all we know the doctor could tell us it's a girl. Kind of throws your macho football game every Friday night plan into a tailspin, won't it?" a very pregnant Marie teased as she lay on the exam table._

"_Oh, it's a boy. You know it and I know it. And, lucky for you, he's going to take after his old man in every way!" Hank grinned._

"_I can see that. After all, most babies are born bald," she laughed._

_He instinctively ran his head against the smooth, shaved skin of his head. "Hey, this is a choice!"_

"_Whatever you say." Marie playfully rolled her eyes._

"_Whatever it is, I want you to know I've been doing some thinking..."_

_She looked at him curiously. _

"_There's an opening in D.C. A desk job. We could get that little flat in Georgetown you've always been talking about..."_

"_You'd do that? For me?"_

"_More importantly I'd do it for our kid. I know how many nights you've stayed up worrying about me, and now with a kid on the way, I can't see putting you through that anymore."_

_She smiled and kissed his hand. "I love you, you know."_

"_Aw, Marie, don't get all mushy on me!"_

"_I can't help it. Night after night I do worry about you. With that job in D.C. It can be just the three of us; nothing to worry about other than whose turn it is to get up with the baby."_

"_We won't even have to worry about that. We both know it's the woman's job to take care of that!" Hank laughed._

_She playfully hit him on the arm. "You're impossible, you know that?"_

"_But you wouldn't have me any other way!" he grinned._

"_You're right. Thanks to you I have everything I've always wanted."_

"_You're happy, Marie?"_

"_More than I ever thought I could be."_

_Suddenly he turned serious. "I\ want you to know I'll do anything for our little family. You've given me so much, and now we have little junior to wait for..."_

_Her eyes filled with tears, which did not go unnoticed by Hank. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy."_

"_Thank you."_

"_For what?"_

_She didn't hesitate. "For being you."_

_He leaned in to kiss her, and she realized that life could not possibly get any better._

Just then the doctor came in and applied the cold gel in preparation of the ultrasound. At that moment she found herself hating Walter White very, very much. No, she told herself. This moment wasn't about that monster. Drying her eyes, she closed them and let the doctor do what he needed to do.

"I know this is cold and a bit uncomfortable; I'm sorry about that, Mrs. Shraeder. But it will be over in a minute." Just then the doctor's voice went from strictly professional to having a pleased tone.

"Would you like to see what I see?"

"What is it, is it deformed?"

"No, Mrs. Schraeder. Right now I'm looking at the image of your child's heartbeat. It's nice and strong, just what we wanted to see. Right there..." he pointed at the screen.

Marie strained her eyes until she saw what he was pointing at. "That...that's my child?"

"That's your child's heartbeat. Everything looks just fine. Are you feeling all right?"

"I just...I just don't know what to say."

"That's okay. Most first time parents are overwhelmed at this point. What you're feeling is perfectly natural. I'd like to put you on some prenatal vitamins..."

"That's okay. I already take them."

The doctor looked at her curiously.

"For my hair. I've heard that they can make your hair grow nice and shiny."

The doctor smiled. "Still, I'd like to give you a prescription. Everything looks just great from my point of view. I'd like to see you back in a month. Is there anything else you need from me?"

"No. I'll be okay."

"Oh, one last thing...here is your baby's first picture."

He watched as Marie studied the ultrasound picture in total silence. She traced her hand over the image of the heart, then quickly tucked it away in her purse.

"I'll let you get dressed, then stop by the front desk to make an appointment and also to pick up your prescription. Take care of yourself, Mrs. Shraeder."

After he left, Marie took out the picture and stared at it once again. Then she looked down at her wedding ring, and reality began to sink in. She was alone; yes, Skylar would help her, but she had her hands full with her own kids, so there was only so much she could do. If only Hank were here; he'd know what to do. But he wasn't, and more than ever, she was afraid of what her life had become.

tbc


	11. Chapter 11

Marie found herself going through a Mcdonalds drive-thru, and drove around town aimlessly, not really sure where she was going. It would be a perfect day, if there were such a thing, to take a drive out to her husband's grave; but as only the MIA Walt knew where Hank was, she decided on a happier place.

It was the park. The park where she first met Hank, where Skylar insisted on introducing themselves to the handsome young man who'd caught Marie's eye. Looking around the peaceful place, with only a handful of kids playing, she settled on setting on a park bench, where, hopefully, she could find a moment of peace.

It would be hard to find the total moment of silence that she'd been craving, with the knowledge that her bodyguard lurked somewhere in the background. But for now, she had the warmth of the sun hitting her face (she had to pull out her sunglasses from her purse. In doing so, she discovered the ultrasound photo that she'd tried so hard to forget about.)

Bringing the photo out and examining it carefully, there really wasn't much to look at. She had to squint if she wanted to make out much of anything. But there, in black and white, was undeniable proof of the life that was forming inside of her. And to tell the truth, she wasn't quite sure how she felt about it.

She'd been through this once before. She'd been pregnant once, but the first time she and Hank went to the doctor, it had been a very different time. There had been no heartbeat; not a viable pregnancy, the doctor had told them. For a while she had blamed Hank, for his job, for not being there for her. And true to fashion, Hank had pulled away, not knowing how to comfort her. That was when he decided to try his hand at his beer. Marie had resented him for pulling back, for not being there, but in hindsight, she saw that that was his way of dealing with the sadness that had apparently hit him as well. There were so many things she'd do over again if she could.

Staring at the ultrasound picture, she realized this child had something that her other one didn't; it had a chance. Their first one, from the time they went for their first ultrasound, well, it just wasn't meant to be. It wasn't fair. Now that she was carrying an apparently healthy child, Hank wouldn't be there to help her raise him, to enjoy every twist and turn that parenthood brought with it.

She wouldn't cry. She couldn't allow herself to break down, not here in public. There was still so much to do. They had to find Walt, and most importantly, they had to find Hank. She hadn't talked to Gomez's wife yet; that was a conversation a long time in coming, but how could she share her news with Steve's wife when she probably blamed Hank for the disappearance (Marie still couldn't bring herself to say the other 'd' word) of her husband. There was so much for Marie to do, yet every day was a struggle, every minute it was a matter of just trying to stay afloat.

There in the distance at that park something caught her eye. It was a father playing football with his young son. It wasn't fair; that should have been Hank and their child. That was all Hank had asked the first time they had found themselves pregnant.

Hank had turned to making beer, she had found herself drawn to Flynn. He really was a sweet kid. No matter how it had come to be, Marie wouldn't trade a second of her relationship with her nephew for all the money in the world. He loved her unconditionally, and she knew she could count on him to cheer her up, no matter how low she was feeling.

She hadn't been back to her home yet- when she had tried, she and her police escorts had found that it had been broken into. But she ordered her driver to take her back there. After he had searched it and found it relatively safe, Marie went in for a minute. She went to the garage, where papers were still scattered everywhere.

But they were there.

"_Jesus Christ, Marie, they're minerals!"_

She smiled at the thought of Hank yelling at her as he enjoyed his little hobby. Walking over to a box that had been undisturbed for the most part, she picked out a small but beautiful rock (mineral) and tucked it in her purse, next to the ultrasound photo. It was at that moment she made a decision, maybe not a conscious one, but a decision nonetheless. Hank would live on, and she would spend the rest of her life making sure of that.

She picked up the phone. "Skylar- it's me. I was wondering if I could come over. Yes, I had my doctor's appointment. Everything's going to be okay." She sighed, and for the the first time in a long, long time, she smiled. "Everything's going to be okay."

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

As Marie approached the house, she really wasn't sure what she would say. This was the house that Walt built, that he'd sacrificed everything for. That he became a criminal and a murderer for. Was it worth it, she wanted to ask him? Was he happy now, a dying man with nothing but a few bucks to show for it? His family name was ruined;there was no doubt in Marie's mind what kind of life Flynn would have. The son of Heisenberg, they would call him, among other names. The son of a mad man. Her heart ached just thinking about the kind of pain her brother-in-law had inflicted upon his own family, not the least of the loss of her husband Hank.

To her surprise, Flynn answered the door. Always, always happy to see her, he eagerly let her in and asked if she needed anything. She shook her head; there wasn't anything left for her from this house that could do anything for her at this point.

Watching him struggle with his brace, Marie sat down on the couch and patted the cushion beside her. "Come sit with your Aunt Marie. Where's your mom at?"

"She's..she's changing Holly. She'll be right out. She knew it was you, that's why she let me answer the door."

"Good boy. I don't care if it is me, in the future I don't want you going anywhere near that door. Do you understand me?"

He nodded, to which she took a hold of his chin. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Aunt Marie."

She smiled then kissed him on the cheek. "That's my boy. You really are a good boy, do you know that?"

"Aw, you're just saying that because you have to," Flynn grinned in spite of himself.

"I'm saying that because you're a fine, brave young boy and I'm proud to call you my nephew. I know your.." she took a deep breath. "I know your uncle Hank was awfully proud of you, too."

"When you guys took me and Holly in...did you know what my dad was doing then?" Flynn asked.

"No. No!" Marie emphasized. "Trust me, as soon as we found out our first thoughts were of you both. Your uncle Hank wanted to do everything in his power to protect you and Holly from your...from that man."

"I'm...I'm sorry, Aunt Marie. Uncle Hank was good to me. He didn't treat me as if there were anything wrong with me. He took me out to eat a lot."

"I know, because as hard as I try, my cooking can't compare to your mother's breakfasts, he would always say," Marie smiled at the memory. "He loved spending time with you. He really did."

"Remember...remember when he bought me a football for my birthday? My mom didn't think it was a good idea, but he took me out and threw it at me. He didn't get mad when I missed...well, maybe a little..." Flynn laughed at the memory.

"That's only because he wanted the best for you. And what he would want now is for you to be the best big cousin you can be."

Flynn looked at her, honestly confused. "I don't..I don't understand."

Marie took a deep breath. "Flynn, honey, I'm going to have a baby. Your uncle Hank's baby. And I need you to be strong and look after it and play football with it, everything Uncle Hank would have done."

"Are you...are you serious?"

Skylar came out holding Holly, a genuine smile spread upon her face."She's right. You and Holly are going to have a cousin. Aunt Marie's going to be a mommy!"

Without saying another word, Flynn struggled to his room. When he came out, everyone smiled in awe of what he brought with him. It was a football- the football his uncle Hank had given to him. "I think he would want my cousin to have this now."

Tearfully, Marie accepted, and soon was overwhelmed by all of the embraces her family was giving her.

tbc


	13. Chapter 13

"_Everyone clear the room! Mr. White, you'll have to go back to the waiting room. We'll call you when we have more news!"_

"_What's wrong with my wife? What is going on with my child?" Walt demanded._

"_Please, sir, we need you to wait outside. Your son hasn't gotten enough oxygen..."_

"_A son! I have a son?"_

"_Please, Mr. White. We need all non-essential personal to clear the room. We'll be with you as soon as possible."_

"_But that's my wife! That's my son! What in the hell is going on?"_

"_Come on, Walt," Marie took him by the arm. "It will be okay. Hank's waiting in the other room with some coffee..."_

"_I don't want any damn coffee! I want my family!" Walt shouted so loudly that everyone, even the doctors that were working on Skylar, stopped to stare at him._

"_Walt, what my sister needs is to allow those doctors to work on her and the baby. Our being here won't make a bit of difference. Please, just do as they say and come wait with me and Hank," Marie pleaded._

_Walt took a breath, then regained his composure. "You're right. I'm sorry. Everyone, I'm truly sorry."_

_Without saying another word, he went to join his brother-in-law and gratefully accepted the cup of coffee._

"_So...can I get you anything else?" Hank asked a bit reluctantly._

_Walt shook his head. "They don't know..they don't know what's going on with Skylar and the baby. Something about him not getting enough oxygen."_

"_You have a boy?"_

_Walt studied Hank's reaction for a minute. So clueless. He had no idea of the complications that would come with a baby not getting enough oxygen at birth. But this wasn't Hank's fault. As usual, he took a deep breath and thought carefully before speaking. "Yes. It appears we do have a son."_

"_Hey," Hank patted him heartily on the arm. "That's wonderful news, ain't it Marie! Your own future high school chemistry teacher-genius! Ain't that terrific, Marie? Marie?"_

_He looked around and saw that no one was saying anything. "Look, Walt. You know I have a big mouth. Marie tells me that all the time. If I said something out of place, well..."_

_Walt smiled meekly and returned the pat on Hank's arm. "You're fine. Anyways, I have a boy. A boy! What better news than that could there be?"_

"_That's the spirit! Everything will turn out just fine. You wait and see."_

"_Hank," Marie tried to shush him, but he was oblivious._

_Just then the doctor appeared. "Mr. White..."_

"_How are they? How are my family?"_

"_Mr. White, your wife has had an extremely difficult labor. We don't know why this happens; sometimes these things just happen."_

"_But she'll be all right?"_

"_After a period of rest, she will be just fine. Now your son,on the other hand..."_

_Marie put her hand over her mouth to keep from crying. Hank wrapped his arm around her._

"_Your son has been born with cerebral palsy. That's not to say he won't have a long and healthy life. He just may have some difficulties walking, difficulties speaking. But you two seem like a solid and loving family; there's no limit on the life Walter Junior can have."_

"_Walter Junior?" Walt asked, a bit overwhelmed at all of the news._

_The doctor smiled. "That is the one thing your wife asked of us before she fell back asleep. She wanted to name him after his father."_

"_Congratulations, man," Hank said -halfheartedly while Marie shot him a look._

_This was all too much too take in. A son with a disability. A wife whom he couldn't visit, not yet anyways._

"_Hey, look on the bright side..." Hank continued. "You have that nice teaching job. I'm sure they offer lots of decent benefits."_

_Walt took a deep breath. This was not his life, he told himself while he walked outside for some fresh air._

Now all he had was fresh air. Sitting outside in the middle of God knew where, Walt found himself alone with nothing but time and money. Eleven million dollars that he had to get to his family. He knew that his family hated him. But as Walt closed his eyes, took in the fresh but brisk air, he found himself transported to a very different time in his life. Yes, he'd been a loser high school teacher with a job washing cars to help make ends meet, but he knew that his family loved him. What he wouldn't give to go back to that place in time. Now there was no going back. His family wouldn't ever forgive him, wouldn't ever understand what he'd done was to protect them. But as he began to cough, the thought came to his mind; the only thing they'd ever really needed protected from was him.

tbc


	14. Chapter 14

It was about a month later when Marie's clothing began to feel a bit snug. She hated to go shopping- it seemed too real, too fun to do when her husband was still missing, presumed dead. But as Skylar had convinced her to go, reluctantly she agreed. Looking through some clothes that were just a size or two larger than what she normally wore- she was still too vain to even consider maternity clothes, something caught her eye.

Skylar was too distracted by something she'd discovered. "How about this? It's not purple, but it's a nice,pretty pink. I bet you would look awfully pretty in it..." she started until she noticed what Marie was holding up against her skin.

It was a blouse, a pretty, blue blouse. Skylar smiled. She knew that even if Marie wasn't ready to admit it yet, that she was hoping for a boy.

"Do you like this? It's a bit too much. It's a bit too showy,isn't it?" Marie started to put it back, but Skylar stopped her.

"I think it's perfect. I think if that's the one you want then you should get it. Would you like for me to get it? I have the part time job now..."

"No. It's okay. I have it. The department has been generous with their donations, and besides, I've been back to work a while myself. You know, maybe I will get it."

"Good for you. I know today won't be easy for you..."

"Why, because I'm meeting with Steve Gomez's wife? What am I supposed to tell her...that my life is peachy keen and I have something to always remind me of my husband while your husband may never..." she began to choke up.

"It's okay. I can go with you if you like."

"No. I've been putting it off for awhile now, but if I don't do it now, I'll never do it. Speaking of which, I suppose I'd better be going..." she started to walk off, but Marie stopped her.

"Don't you suppose you'd better pay for that?" Skylar teased gently.

"Oh, yeah. Old habits die hard. Kidding! I was going to pay for it! I really was!" Marie pulled back and went to pay for her purchase.

00000

An hour later, she was sitting in a cafe, face to face with the last person that she wanted to see. It wasn't as if she hated Amy Gomez; she'd always been friendly with Marie and was probably the one person in the world who could understand the predicament she was in.

"Marie," Amy smiled weakly. "How are you? You look well."

"Thanks, Amy. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch, but things have been kind of crazy..."

Amy reached out and touched Marie's hand. "It's okay. I understand. I really do."

"No, no you don't! I've been so selfish, only thinking of me and my loss when I haven't even bothered to call on you, to check on you, to see if I could do anything...you must hate me right now."

"You're not the one I hate," Amy said quietly but firmly.

"But it was my own brother-in-law! The man we had to our house every weekend! Surely you must think I'm stupid, or that Hank was..."

"I don't think that. I think that your husband was one of the bravest men I knew. I knew Steve and Hank had their differences, but I knew that Steve always trusted Hank. Always."

"And look where that got him!"

"Marie...look at me. It's okay that you're angry. It's okay that you're blaming yourself. I've been through it all, every bit of what you're feeling. I just know that something good will come out of all this..."

Now Marie was ready to lose it. "What good could possibly come out of all this! Your husband's dead, my husband's dead, that monster's on the loose...from what I understand he's still cooking! The nerve of that man!"

Realizing what she'd just said, Marie covered her face and began to sob. "Oh, Amy. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I'm saying half the time. I don't know what I'm supposed to think, what I'm supposed to feel. I just feel dead most of the time and it's all I can do to get out of bed in the morning."

"Pretty soon you're going to have the best reason of all to get out of bed every morning," Amy smiled knowingly.

Marie looked down at her stomach self-consciously. "You know?"

"One of the guys on the force told me. If truth be told, you're not the only one who's been avoiding this meeting. You see, I have a confession to make. I'm jealous."

Marie looked at her in shock. "You're jealous...of me?"

"You have something special growing inside of you. Part of your husband will always live on. Steve and I talked about kids but we never got around to it. He was always putting his job first, and I resented him for it. I fought with him all the time. I never got the chance to tell him I'm sorry, that I should have been more understanding, that if only I were a better wife..." Now it was Amy's turn to cry, and once again, Marie felt helpless.

Marie held her for a few minutes, and then finally broke away. "We'll get that bastard. He will never take another husband, another father, anyone."

"But don't you see, Marie? It's too late for us. Nothing that can happen to Walt can ever bring Steve or Hank back. Nothing."

Marie nodded, and for the next half hour, it was just the two widows, playing with their salads, thinking of all that they had lost. It was useless for the normally loquacious Marie to attempt to say anything; nothing she could say could make this right. But she gathered her strength and made one more silent vow: Walter White would pay, if it was the last thing she did.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Marie thought back to the time in her life when she started shoplifting, really started. Sure, she'd done it a time or two as a teenager,but it wasn't until after her miscarriage that she'd really turned to it. Hank was pulling away- throwing himself into work or his little beer hobby, and at the time she blamed him. If only he'd been more supportive, more understanding, if only he'd been there for her during her time of need.

But what she didn't know- what she couldn't have known, was that Hank was hurting, too, in his own way. It wasn't until Walt and Skyler and little Junior came over for a barbeque that Hank opened up. Marie, concerned that they hadn't had enough potato salad, had Skylar run her to the store. Hank watched Walt play with his son, and it was only after a few minutes that Walt had noticed something was wrong with his brother-in-law.

"_You okay? I hope Junior, here, isn't being too much trouble. He's just a kid being a kid, I suppose," Walt smiled supportively as he tried to figure out what was going through his best friend's mind._

"_Na, it's all good. He's a good boy. I don't care what any of them doctors say- little Junior's going to grow up and be a little genius, just like his old man."_

_Walt, picking up his son, smiled. "I'm no genius."_

"_Are you kidding me? You practically started that company- what's it called, brain matter?"_

_Walt chuckled in spite of himself. Grey Matter, but what did it matter anymore?_

"_Listen," Hank continued. "You know what I'd do if I were you? I'd get the best lawyer out there, and sue the pants off those so called friends of yours for ripping you off out of what was yours. They've got the money! Surely they could throw you a few million bucks and call it a day."_

"_Thanks, Hank, but you know, I don't really do lawyers. They're so sleazy and all. I've got all I need with Skylar and Junior. Really."_

_Hank shrugged. "It's your loss. But if you ever do decide to purse those bastards, and need a character witness...I'll be happy to tell them how freaking smart you are."_

"_Thanks, Hank. I appreciate that. I really do." Walt looked at the way Hank was watching Junior, and decided to ask. "I've never really gotten a chance to talk to you, after Marie and the baby and all...how are you both holding up? Feel free to tell me to mind my own business, of course."_

_Hank sighed. "I don't know. It seems all Marie wants to do is go off on her little shopping sprees. Always leaves a lasagna in the fridge for me. I swear if I have one more bite of that lasagna..." he laughed. "No," he continued. "I don't know what to think. I don't know what she wants from me! I work hard so she can afford to go out and buy everything her little heart desires. I know she wants to talk about what happened, but it's just...not my style, you know?"_

"_Perfectly understandable."_

_Hank studied his brother-in-law for a minute. _

"_What, do I have chip dip on my face?" Walt wiped his face self-consciously._

"_You know, I've never told anyone this...but sometimes I wish I could be more like you," Hank confessed._

"_What do you mean? I'm just a high school teacher, simple life, simple home..."_

"_That's just it! I know I could trust you with my life. There are things I can tell you that I couldn't tell my own wife even if I knew how!"_

"_Like what?"_

"_Like it's my fault what happened with her and the baby."_

"_Hank, you can't possibly..."_

"_Just hear me out. Maybe if I'd gone with her to her doctor's more, maybe if I'd taken some time off of work, maybe if I just listened to her instead of running whenever she started feeling the least bit queasy..."_

"_Hank, I know you about as well as I know my own wife. I know that you wouldn't be you if you were suddenly Mr. Housewife," Walt chuckled, causing Hank to join in._

_Then Hank looked at Junior. "He's getting a little fussy. Mind if I..."_

"_Of course," Walt smiled then handed his son to his uncle Hank. Just then the women showed up, and Marie and Skylar watched with huge grins on their faces as Hank tried to capture Junior's attention._

"_What? What are you ladies looking at? Don't you have some dishes to do or something?"_

_Marie laughed and then walked up and kissed her husband on the cheek._

"_What was that for?" Hank grumbled to no one in particular._

"_Women," Walt sighed, then took a sip of Hank's homemade beer. Yes, it was a good day to be alive, a good day for family._

As Walt watched the ending of Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium for the sixth time, he found his mind wandering. He wondered how Skylar was doing, of course, and then there were the kids. But from time to time he found himself thinking of Marie. Surely she hated him most of all. If only there were some way he could make her see, make her understand that he had tried to save Hank. That he'd given up 70 million dollars, all in vain, just to bargain for Hank's life. He had to make this right, if it was the last thing he did. Judging by the amount of coughing and pain he'd been experiencing due to the lung cancer, he knew that time was working against him. But he would make things right,if it was the last thing he did.

tbc


	16. Chapter 16

It was Flynn's first day back at school, and he slammed the door to his mom's car as he got in.

"Flynn, honey, what's wrong?" Skylar asked, concerned.

"I'm..I'm quitting school. I'm never going back!"

"Did something happen?"

"You..you tell me! I'm the son of Heisenberg!"

She studied him closely."Is that what they're calling you?"

He didn't answer directly; rather his attentions turned to a giggling group of kids.

"Watch Holly for me," she ordered without looking back.

"Mom? What are you doing? You're only going to make things worse...Mom?" He slunk into his seat, afraid of what was going to happen next.

"Son of Heisenberg? Is that what you're calling him?" Skylar demanded as she approached the group of kids.

Some snickered, some looked the other way. She grabbed the collar of the one who was laughing the most, and stared him in the eyes.

"What are you saying about my son?" she demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Man, you're as crazy as your husband."

Now that pissed her off. "Do you know who I am?"

"Yeah, you're that retard's mother..."

"My son is not a retard! Do you all think this is funny?" No one answered. "Do you know who I am? I am the wife of Heisenberg, and if you think he's scary, you haven't met me yet. What the hell have you been saying about my son?"

"Let go!" the boy pleaded. "All right, all right, some kids-not us- have been saying it all makes sense."

"What does?"

"The reason Flynn is the way he is. His dad was probably doing meth when you were pregnant..."

"I'll have you know that is not what happened. I almost died giving birth to my son. He and my daughter are the best things to ever happen to me. My son is not responsible for the actions of his father. If I find out any of you are bothering him again, I will personally come back and wipe the stupid smirks off of all of your faces. Got me?"

"Yeah. Whatever."

She started to say something else, but by that time teachers were looking in fear. They had no idea what was going on, only who her husband was. So without saying another word she got in the car and buckled up.

"They will not be bothering you again, Flynn," she said with certainty. After looking back to check on Holly, she sped off, and neither of them spoke of what had happened.

0000

About an hour later, the phone rang. Skylar answered it; every time she did her heart almost stopped, in fear that somehow Walt had found her. Instead it was some girl, asking for her son.

"What do you want with him? And how did you get this number?"

"He gave it to me. I just want to talk to him, to make sure he's all right. He's kind of been having a tough time at school and I..."

"Who are you, and what do you really want with my son?"

"My name is Lindsay, and I'm in his math class. Please, I only want to see how he's doing."

"Listen, Lindsay, the last thing my son needs is anyone's pity or mocking him. He's been through enough. Can't you people see that?"

Just then, Flynn walked out. "Mom, who is that?"

"Some girl named Lindsay. And she's about to hang up..."

"No! I ..I really want to talk to her. Please, Mom..."

Reluctantly she handed the phone to her son. To her surprise, he seemed almost, well, happy when he picked up the phone. He motioned that he was taking it to his bedroom, and Skylar found herself smiling for the first time in ages.

With Holly asleep, she found herself collapsing on the plain, plaid sofa that they'd managed to scrape up. It wasn't much, but with her part-time job it was about the best she could do. Right now it seemed like heaven to her. She had a home, a place where she could just be with her kids. The police were still grilling her, but right now their priority seemed to be finding Walt, so she had some space to herself. Not much, but a little.

She started thinking back to an earlier time just two years ago. Her son was trying on some jeans, those so called skinny jeans, if she remembered right. Suddenly there were several boys laughing at him and mocking him. She was mad, but did not want to cause a scene. She didn't have to. Walt took matters into his own hands, and with an intensity that surprised and scared her a bit, he took care of those punks.

Was that when all of this happened? Was that his first moment of being Heisenberg? If only she'd said something then, if only she'd taken notice of the change in behavior, could any of this been prevented?

She might never know. For all she knew Walt had succumbed to his cancer. In a strange way, it kind of made her sad. Not for the Heisenberg character he'd created for himself, but for Walter White, the man she once loved so much she named her only son after him. For the man who had always taken pride in doing the right thing. For the man she'd shared a bed with all of those years.

No. Skylar shook her head. She couldn't let herself think of the good times, not now. For all she knew the worst might not even be over. He'd taken Holly once; as Marie pointed out, who knew what else he was capable of?

Marie. It had been a few days since she'd talked to her. Taking her cell phone, she called Marie's home phone.

"Hey. It's me. I just wanted to check in on you. How are you feeling?"

"Sick and tired and not a fun person to be around right now. So it's probably for the best you haven't talked to me," Marie snapped.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. It will get better."

"Will it? Will it get better?"

"That's not what I meant. I meant the pregnancy symptoms...give them another month or so and you'll be feeling more like...better." Skylar tried to choose her words carefully.

"I'm thinking of taking time off work," Marie changed the subject.

"Why? I thought it was doing you some good to ...be there?" 

"It was, but now there's no hiding that I'm pregnant. I have strangers congratulating me and telling me how happy my husband must be. I can't handle that, not now. I don't know if I ever will be able to."

"Marie...there's something I've been thinking about. Something happened at Flynn's school today that got me thinking..."

"Hold on a sec. There's someone at the door."

Marie placed the phone down, then opened it and got the shock of her life. There, standing in front of her, was her husband's murderer. Walt White was back in town.

"Oh, my God.."She instinctively put her hand on her stomach, a fact which Walt immediately took notice of.

"Hello, Marie."

"What do you want? I have a gun. I swear to God I'll shoot you if you come any closer..."

Walt placed his hands in the air, a sign of surrender. "I don't want any trouble. I think we have to talk..."

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

"Hi, Flynn. I just wanted to call and see if I can do anything for you."

Flynn smiled. "Thanks, Lindsay. I'm okay. It was a bad day but my mom says it will get better."

"I saw what your mom did to those creeps. She seems kind of bad-ass."

Flynn laughed. He'd never really thought about it before. "She's okay."

"I know you don't really know me, but there is something I wanted to say to you. This is really embarrassing..."

"Its..it's okay Lindsay."

"To tell you the truth I've kind of had a crush on you for a while now. That sounds kind of stupid, doesn't it?"

"Really? That's pretty cool. Really cool."

"The reason I didn't say anything before is because your dad was boring old Mr. White, and he always gave my brother a tough time in chemistry. I figured if I said anything then he'd really have it out for Jake."

Flynn laughed. "Well my dad's no longer around..."

"Yeah, I heard," Linsday sympathized.

"Wait, Jake Jackson is your brother? How come he doesn't have...your last name?"

"He's my foster brother. I've been in foster care since I was born. My mom used drugs when she was pregnant, and my dad's been in and out of jail. I have never really met them."

"I'm sorry, Lindsay."

"It's okay. Anyways that's why I can't go to gym class or stuff like that. I kind of have problems breathing sometimes and have to use an oxygen mask. It's a pain, but I guess you get used to it after awhile."

"Kind of like my braces."

"Yeah. Like your braces," she smiled. "Anyways, I didn't know if you wanted to go to the dance next Friday with me."

"I'd like that, but my mom..."

"Oh, yeah, with your dad and all that. That's okay. I guess I was kind of stupid to think..."

"You're not stupid! I would really like to go. Maybe...maybe I can talk to my mom."

"Yeah? Okay then."

"Okay."

"Well, Flynn, I got homework to do. But anytime you want to talk or if your mom will let you hang out with me..."

"Thanks, Lindsay. I'm glad..I'm really glad you called."

"Me too. Bye, Flynn."

"Bye."

With that, he hung up the phone, and with a huge smile on his face, he headed back out to the living room.

"Mom, you'll never guess..."

"Just a minute. I'm on hold with your aunt Marie."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Would you mind checking on your sister for me?"

"Sure, Mom." With that, Flynn happily went to Holly's room, anxious to tell anyone, even an infant, about what had just happened to him.

00000

"You're pregnant."

"If you think you can take this child from me the way you took my husband..." Marie warned.

Walt started coughing. Marie didn't know what to do. For a minute she felt bad for him, but why should she?

"I don't want to impose..." he started as soon as his coughing started to die down. "But do you think I can sit down for a minute?"

"Why? Why are you here, Walt? What do you want from me?"

He reached in his pocket, slowly, and for a minute she was afraid he was grabbing for a gun. But then she saw what it was he had in his hand- it was Hank's wedding ring.

She started to help him to the couch, then looked down and realized her hand was covered in blood. Looking at Walt, she quickly surmised that he'd been injured, shot more than likely, then wrapped him in a throw blanket and helped him sit down.

"Marie? Are you there?" came the voice from the phone.

"It's Skylar, isn't it?" Walt wheezed. "It's okay. Do what you need to do."

Not taking her eyes off Walt for a minute, she quickly and calmly returned to the phone. "Skylar, listen to me. You need to come here, right now. Have Flynn watch Holly. I don't care what you have to do, just come over here now."

"Is it the baby?" Skylar started to ask, but by then Marie had hung up and returned her attentions to Walt.

"What do you want, Walt? Do you know how easy it would be for me to call the cops right now?"

"Do what you must. But before you do, I want you to have this..." he reached into his wallet and pulled out what appeared to be a lottery ticket.

"What do I want from this? I don't need money! I need my husband back!"

"With this, you will have him back. These are coordinates. That's where you will find Hank. And Gomez, too."

"So he's really..."

Walt nodded. "But I want you to know that I did not do it."

"Why should I believe a word out of your mouth? You tell me you know where my husband's at, you bring me his ring...do you think I'm stupid?" Marie spat out.

.

"Because..." Walt said slowly. "Hank was family. I would never hurt my family. He was more than family, he was my best friend. I tried to save him."

"How thoughtful. But that still doesn't bring him back, now does it?"

"I offered every penny I had-80 million dollars, if they would just spare him. I never wanted this. I'm so sorry, Marie. I'm sorry."

For a minute she felt sorry for him. It was clear from his condition that he was not long for the world. He was dying all alone, a broken and hated man, with nothing to show for any of his evil deeds. She still had the gun within reach, but Marie knew she wouldn't need it. Nature would take its course at any moment.

"Marie! What in God's name is the emergency? You had me all scared..." Skylar shouted as she let herself into her sister's house. Then she saw him. Now laying on the couch, laboring to breathe, was Walt.

"Oh, Walt. What can I do? Do you want me to call someone?" she asked meekly.

"We both know that won't do me any good. I just had to tell you..had to tell you both.. that all threats to the family have been taken care of. You have nothing to worry about anymore."

Skylar and Marie both knew what that meant.

"Did Hank know..about the baby?"

Marie shook her head.

"Skylar..." he gasped. "Can you...get me a pillow or something?".

She did one better than that. She sat next to him and propped his head up on her lap. With one final caress of his face, for better or worse, Walter White was gone.

tbc


	18. Chapter 18

As Skylar let go of the body that was once her husband, so many emotions flooded her mind. Sorrow, grief, anger, and most of all-regret. If only she'd done more, if she'd turned him in when she had the chance, if she'd went to Hank earlier...

Marie came back, phone still in her hand. "They're on the way."

"Wh...who?" a still disheveled Skylar asked.

"The cops. The ambulance...to take him away. If you think for a minute that I want that asshole's body in my house...If I could I'd have them take him straight to hell, but something tells me he's already there."

Skylar knew she shouldn't be feeling like this, she shouldn't have any feelings for this monster. But he had been her husband, the father of her kids, the man she once pledged to God to love for the rest of her life. She tried looking away so that Marie wouldn't see the tears that had formed in her eyes, but her sister was smart enough to know what was going on.

"What are you doing?" Marie demanded, still in shock herself over the happenings of the last half hour. "Are you crying? Tell me you're not crying!"

Skylar couldn't explain it, not to Marie nor anyone else. She knew that if she tried to explain herself Marie wouldn't understand, and would probably lash out at her. Even she didn't know why she was crying.

"What the hell, Skylar? This is not your husband. Is that what you're doing, grieving over your husband? This is not Walter White, mild-mannered high school teacher. This is Heisenberg- Heisenberg! Do you hear me? Tell me you're not shedding a tear over this...murderer. He murdered my husband, Skylar! He took my child's father from him before he could even get a chance to hold his own son or daughter, let alone know about him or her. You sit here feeling sorry for yourself and you expect me to do the same? Well, you'll have to excuse my apathy- actually it's not apathy. It's joy. I couldn't be happier that this monster is dead. My only regret is that I wasn't the one to pull the trigger," Marie replied forcefully.

"I don't know what you want me to say..." Skylar said in a monotone voice.

"Tell me that you're not sorry. Not for this anyways. I want you to be as happy as I am that Heisenberg is no more!"

Skylar said nothing. Instead her eyes inadvertently went to the body of her husband, which only served to anger Marie even more.

"You love him. You love this piece of shit," Marie accused.

"It's not like that..."

"Then what is it? Why are you showing even the slightest bit of remorse over what happened to him?"

Skylar sighed, still looking away from her sister. "He was my husband," she replied quietly but firmly.

"I have news for you- your 'husband' died a long time ago! This is not the man you knew, that any of us knew. He is-was- a murderer! A drug dealer! And in case you hadn't forgotten, he was also a kidnapper, or do I need to remind you of that night he took Holly..."

"You don't need to remind me. I know who he was. I also knew who he used to be, what I thought I knew. He became someone else, I don't know how. But I can't just forget everything..."

"What?" Marie nearly choked on her anger. "Okay, how's this- you remember what a kind, loving man Walter White was, why I go about my business trying to forget Hank. Is that what you want? Is that what you want from me?"

Skylar, still crying, shook her head. "That's not what I want. That's not..."

"Then what do you want?"

"I don't know," Skylar sobbed. "I don't know. I just want to go back in time and see if there was a way- any way- I could have stopped this, if I could have seen any of this coming."

"Don't you see? You could have done something. You knew what Walt was doing, what he was capable of doing, and yet you did nothing. No, I take that back," Marie stood facing Skylar, her hands flying as she spit out the words. "You took that man back into your life. Which would have been none of my business- none!- if it were only your life that you chose to endanger. But not only did you put yourself in the line of jeopardy, you put Flynn and Holly in danger. And need I remind you about Hank and Gomez and God knows who else is dead because of him? You did this. You brought it on yourself. If you sit there, crying, expecting me to feel sorry for you for one second, you're wrong. I don't. You knew. You weren't his victim. You went along with his sorry plan because you thought it would give your financial security. Did he tell you how much money he had? Did you know how much it was?"

"Maybe twenty, thirty million..."

"Try eighty. Eighty million dollars. So many people are dead because of both of your greed. I hope you can live with your actions, Skylar. I really do." Marie stared at her, the tension only rising by the minute.

It was only broken by the sound of squads, pulling into Marie's driveway. She glared at her Skylar one more time before walking over to let the authorities in.

Running her hands through her hair, Skylar didn't know what to do. She couldn't argue with Marie, not really. For the most part she was right about everything. She had known what her husband was capable of- well, most of it anyways, and had done nothing.

Just then an officer approached her, asking if she was all right. After Skylar had nodded yes, then the officer informed her that he had some questions for her.

"Where's Marie?" she whispered, so low that the officer asked her to repeat herself.

"She's in the kitchen, talking with another officer. I understand that this is a difficult time, but we need to find out some things."

"Like what?"

"Like when you knew your husband was back in town."

"How should I know? I got here about forty-fifty minutes ago and he was already here. He was pretty much dead when I got here...he'd been shot."

"Do you know by whom?"

"What difference does it make. He's dead. Everyone should be happy and grateful to whoever did this," Skylar responded sullenly as she stood up.

"Ma'am...you can't leave now. We still have questions..."

"I'm going home. I have to tell my son that his father is dead. I will be in in the morning to talk. Now if you'll excuse me." With that, Skylar made her way out of Marie's home, and after driving around a block or two, pulled over. Looking around in her car, she finally found a bottle of water. It was warm, unpleasant really, but she didn't care anymore.

She thought back to a few months ago when Marie had walked into the station. She had forced Skylar's hand into telling Flynn about his father- everything. If that had been difficult, then this would be murder.

Tbc


	19. Chapter 19

"Mom.." Flynn greeted his mom, happier than she'd seen him in some time. "You'll never guess what happened to me today!'

Part of Skylar just wanted to sit him down and tell him the truth, that his father was dead, but by the look of joy on his face, she knew the news could wait, if only for a minute. "What's that, honey?" she managed to ask, without a trace of excitement in her voice.

Flynn, oblivious to his mother's pain, continued. "You know that girl Lindsay that called here? Well there's a dance next Friday. She...she wants me to go with her. Mom, please, I'll be careful. I've never..never been asked to a dance before. I never had a date before. Please, Mom. I'll do dishes all week if you just let me go."

Her heart was breaking as it never had before. On one hand she should be thrilled for her son, but on the other, his world was about to take a turn that he'd never seen before, one that he shouldn't have had to even think about. She grabbed a throw pillow and held it in her hand.

Flynn knew what that meant. It was time for a family meeting, and whoever held the pillow got a chance to say what was on their mind. They'd done it before, when his father was sick and didn't want to go through chemo. Part of him wanted to protest, but he was in too good of a mood to argue with his mother.

"Flynn, honey, there is something I have to tell you..." she started.

"Mom, did you hear me? A date!"

"I know that, but please hear me out. I don't know how to begin..." her voice drifted off, memories of her dead husband's body cradled in her lap still fresh in her mind.

"What...what is it, Mom?" Despite his excitement, he could sense that something was troubling his mother. What it was, he had no idea, but somehow it probably had to do with his father.

"Flynn, your father was back in town..."

"Dad...I mean Walter? Did you call the police? I hope he gets what's coming to him. I hope he ..I hope he never gets a chance to hurt Aunt Marie or anyone else again. Did you call the cops? Because if you don't ...I will!"

"Flynn, listen to me. This is hard for me to say, and it will be harder for you to hear...God I hate him for making me do this!"

"What is it, Mom? What did he do this time?" Flynn sighed, a hint of annoyance at being disturbed from his daydreams of his first date.

Everyone grew silent; no one quite knew what to say. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, Skylar set down the pillow on the couch beside her and placed her hand on her son's. "Your father is dead," she said, careful not to reveal any of the messed up feelings she was going through.

She watched him carefully, looking for any sign of remorse, of hurt, of sorrow. Instead, he repeated his question. "Can I go to the dance?"

"Flynn, didn't you hear me?"

He stood up and while balancing himself on one crutch, he took the pillow and threw it across the room. "What do you want me to say? That I miss my dad, that he was my hero, the man I wanted to be like when I grew up? A year...a year ago I might have said that, but now...but now I can't. If you want to sit and cry over him go ahead. But I...I can't. I won't cry over him. I gotta go."

She stood up and followed him. "Flynn, talk to me. No matter what happened he was your father, and now he's gone! Surely you must be feeling something, sad, mad, confused..."

"What's to be sad about? The man that killed all those people in jail is gone? The man who took Holly from us...the man who..the man who killed my Uncle Hank is dead, and you want me to sit around and cry for him? Maybe...maybe I just don't care. I don't care if my dad is dead. There, are you happy now?"

Skylar put her hand over her mouth, having not knowing how her son would react to the news. "Please, talk to me. I'm your mother and I want what's best for you..."

"You want what's best for me? What about Uncle Hank? Do you just...do you just expect me to forgive and forget what he did to Aunt Marie? Walt may have been my father, but who do you think it was that took me out to eat all the time? Who told me...who told me I can be anything I want in the world? Who tried to play football with me even though I could barely catch the ball? You want me to cry for a man who was the bad guy and ...and forget all about the good guy? I'm not you, Mom. Cry for him all you want. For me...I'm going to the dance and there's nothing you can say to stop me!"

Flynn struggled to make it out the door, but he was sure to slam the door behind him. That was so unlike him. Skylar always knew where her kids were at at all times, but something kept her from going after him.

The events of the evening were just too much for her. But she wouldn't break down, not now. She couldn't. If she did, that would have meant that Walt had won. But he hadn't. He would never hurt her family again.

Taking out a cigarette, she lit it then pulled back the kitchen, watching her son drive away in the car that Walt had bought for him. Walt was dead; she herself witnessed his passing. She should have felt relief, but instead an overwhelming sense of grief overcame her like never before. No matter what had happened, she refused to believe that Walt was all evil. After all, he'd given her the two biggest miracles of her life. But as soon as she inhaled the first breath of smoke from the cigarette, her daughter began to cry. After taking another quick puff she returned to her motherly duties.

Wearily, she made her way to Holly's room, where she picked her daughter up from the crib. Holly was so young; she had no idea what their life had become. But Flynn was old enough, and no matter how hard she had tried, the truth had come out in the end, and her little family was in trouble, probably even more trouble than ever before. As she cradled Holly close to her, she closed her eyes for a minute and it was only the sound of a faint "Mama" that brought her back to reality. Holly. So young, so innocent. Marie had been right about one thing: she had lost her husband a long time ago. All she had left were her children, and even then, no one, not even her kids could fully understand what she had lost. Her sister might have, if the circumstances were different. But right now she was all alone, and all she wanted to do was break down and cry, grieve over the man she'd once loved. Cry for her children and everything that had been taken from them. But as it was, Holly needed her, so her tears would just have to wait. For how long, she didn't know, but as long as she held her daughter in her arms, she refused to give in to the hurt she was experiencing.

Yes, Walt was gone now. But in a way, the mess he'd created for them was just beginning.

tbc


	20. Chapter 20

The service was sure to be a sad, lonely occasion, filled with rows of empty chairs and broken dreams. Not even Walt's family would attend. Skylar knew she had to be there. Not in support of the man he'd become, but for the man that he once was. Marie wasn't speaking to her, not at the moment anyways. She considered Skylar's attendance of any type of memorial service for Walt a betrayal of the highest form, and besides, now with Hank's body having been found, she was preparing for a memorial of her own.

The room was so eerily quiet that for a minute Skylar forgot where she was. There were no signs of life anywhere to be found, and with not one person there to support her, she found herself feeling particularly alone. Having left Holly with a sitter, she was all alone with her thoughts, waiting for the service to begin. It had taken her so many tries to get someone-anyone- to agree to officiate. She wound up finding someone with a degree from the internet. But it didn't matter. All Skylar knew was that she had to say goodbye to her husband in her own way, even if her family hated her for it.

Of course, Flynn wouldn't attend. He was at a dance with that girl that he'd been talking to; how could she expect him to forsake an evening of fun and normal to say goodbye to the man who'd taken so much from them? She couldn't, and without a word of argument, she allowed her son to go off without a single beg or plead for him to join her in saying goodbye to Walt.

It didn't take long for the "minister" to arrive. He wasn't hard to spot. A twenty-something kid, who probably took this job for his pot money (ironically) so she looked up and stared away, looking for something, anything to comfort her. But that comfort would be a long, long time in coming, in her mind anyways. The walls were bare- no picture of Walt to be seen anywhere in sight.

The words just seemed to go on and on- forgiveness, not judging anyone, heaven and hell. It didn't matter what the kid was saying. All Skylar wanted was to go home to her daughter, but she had to do this. Yes, Walt brought this on himself, but for him to go out alone and unloved- there was something about the thought that really bothered her.

The "minister" stopped for a minute, and Skylar looked back to see what had captured his attention. Much to her surprise was the sight of her son, Walt's son, along with a girl presumed to be Lindsay, his date for the evening.

He took his place beside his mom, with Lindsay on his right side, and so the minister resumed. Flynn said nothing; instead he placed his hand on his mom's hand, and for a minute, they were a family again.

The service was short, lasting maybe fifteen minutes, and devoid of any real emotion. Afterward, Skylar stood up, allowing her son to prop himself up on his braces.

"Why are you here?" she said, numbly.

"It's not for him, if that..that's what you think. I didn't even want to come," Flynn replied.

"Then why...I know the dance was tonight."

"Lindsay said there's be other dances. She..she thought I should be here with you."

Skylar turned to Linday and tried to smile. She couldn't, not yet, but she took Lindsay's hand and shook it briefly but firmly. "Thank you," she managed to say.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for your...for everything," Linsday replied. "I know this has been hard on Flynn, but I can't imagine what it must be doing to you as well."

"It's really only my kids who matter right now."

"For what it's worth, I think you've done a great job with Flynn. He talks about you all the time," Lindsay smiled.

"He..he does?" Now Skylar was really taken aback.

"I don't want to reveal what he says, but I do know he loves you. He just needs some time to deal with things, you know?"

Skylar nodded. "Would you like to come back to our apartment? It's not much, but you're welcome to join us for some pizza or something."

"I'd like that. Thank you," Lindsay agreed before turning to leave with Flynn.

Her son hadn't said anything, but he'd shown up to support Skylar, and that in and of itself spoke volumes to her.

0000

Meanwhile the phone was ringing off the hook at Marie's home. People wanting to know when the funeral would be, what they could do to help, what she needed. There was only one thing she needed, but there was no one on earth who could provide her with her heart's desire- to be with her husband again.

It was a daunting task, to be sure. DEA officials, cops, friends, family, people she hadn't seen in years- they all wanted to support her at Hank's funeral. She knew they all meant well, but in her heart she didn't even know if she would be able to go. It was too much, too soon, and right after Walt's death, all she had wanted to do was to stay in bed for days on end. After staying at a hotel until Walt had been found and all threats supposedly eliminated, Marie went back to the house she once shared with her husband.

Financially, she was all right. The funeral would be taken care of since Hank had been a Marine, and the DEA force had offered to cater the reception. She'd taken some time off of work, and wasn't even sure if she would return. At some point she would have to- after all, she would soon have a little one to think about. But with her soon to receive Hank's pension and the donations from the force and the community, she had a little time to herself.

She turned the ringer off the phone and went to her closet, then Hank's. Hank's clothes were still there. He had been a big man, a bit on the husky side, but that was one thing she'd loved about him. She'd always felt safe when he was around, like no harm could ever happen to her as long as he was around. But now...

She pulled out one of his old football jerseys- it had been awhile since he'd worn it- and some personal belongings and started a warm bath. This would be hard- her first night alone at her home since all of this had happened. But sooner or later Marie knew she would have to return, so after filling the warm bath with bubbles, she climbed in.

Closing her eyes, she tried to remember everything she could about her last phone conversation with Hank. Something about having Walt in custody. He'd sounded so excited, so pleased that he'd gotten one of the bad guys off the street. And, somewhat out of character, he'd told her he loved her. Marie knew that Hank had loved her, but he'd often had difficulties expressing it to her. He'd considered himself a man's man, and thought that any kind of sentimentality was for chicks, or so he'd claimed.

The candlelit room helped, almost, for her to relax, as much as that were possible. There was so much she had wanted to tell Hank- needed to tell Hank- but thanks to Walt or his cohorts or whoever it was (it didn't even matter anymore who pulled the trigger) she would never get a chance to tell him all of the things she'd always meant to say to him. To tell him she was proud of him, for working so hard to provide for her, to forgive her and overlook her little faults. To never complain (not much anyways) about lasagna being the best meal she could come up with most of the time. To thank her for loving her when at times she hadn't even really loved herself.

And most of all, she wanted to tell him about the baby- their baby. But that day would never come, and instead of the hatred she'd been focusing on Walt, she now found herself feeling nothing but total and complete grief. It was easy to go on when she had a purpose- to bring down Walter White. But now that he was dead and gone, what was her purpose?

Sure, she knew it should be the baby, but Marie couldn't even bring herself to think about that, not now. All she wanted was for this nightmare to end, for her to wake up from the worst dream of her life, but after drying off and slipping into Hank's old jersey, once again all she wanted to do was sleep. She had always, always slept on the right side of the bed. Hank had never complained-it was kind of her thing. But that night she found herself curling up into a ball on the left side, and let her mind wander as she finally drifted off to a much needed sleep.

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

It was unusually cool despite the bright Albuquerque sun shining down as the crowds starting to pour in for the funeral. Marie had almost overslept, almost decided to skip the event, but in the end she knew she owed it to Hank to go.

As if on cue, the morning sickness was unusually severe, probably a combination of stress and the pregnancy itself. No amount of blush could cover for her pale complexion, but there was not much she could do about it. Pressed for time, she slipped on a simple black dress and matching flats, without a trace of jewelry to decorate her appearance. This was Hank's moment, his final moment, and as such she didn't feel as if any attention should be drawn to her.

Three funerals, three days. Of course she would skip Walt's, but after Hank's the next one coming up would be Steve Gomez's. There was not much hiding Marie's pregnancy at that point, so she seriously considered not attending that funeral. But she couldn't do that, not to Amy, not to Steve. If anything, Marie knew that Hank would want her there to show her support. But for now, it was all she could do to make it through this morning's event.

Marie had expected a crowd, but never before had she seen so many people gathered in one place. Due to the nature of Hank's funeral- he'd died a hero trying to bring down public enemy number one- people gathered by the hundreds to pay their respects. For a minute, Marie smiled briefly to herself: Hank would have loved the attention. He had worked very, very hard because he believed in keeping the streets safe, but he also enjoyed a little recolonization now and then. But this went beyond and above recognition- this was bordering on worship.

It was almost too much for her to take in. Mindful of her condition and state of mind, some police officers escorted her to her seat in the front row. There in front of her was her husband's picture, a stern image as it was of his DEA official photo. Beside that were a few photos that Marie had herself chosen: their wedding picture, them on vacation in the Bahamas, Hank gladly mugging for the camera with his first batch of Shraederbrew. He'd been so proud of that, even if the first bottle hadn't turned out the way he wanted it too. But she had gladly drank one down, pretending not to mind the bitter aftertaste it had left in her mouth. What she wouldn't give for one of those brews right now.

Skylar and Flynn arrived soon, with Marie's nephew wisely sitting between the sisters. As much as Marie wanted to sympathize with her sister, she just couldn't. What had happened to Walt was his own doing; Hank was just doing his job, not only protecting the public but his family as well. What his last thoughts were, she didn't know. She only prayed that he hadn't suffered, if that were possible. How could he have not suffered knowing the man that he'd welcomed into his home, his family so many times was responsible for his impending demise?

Pretty soon the crowds had arrived, with officers and strangers passing by to offer their condolences. Hiding behind the biggest pair of sunglasses she could find, she would attempt a smile and nod, and then prayed they would all move along. Everyone meant well; but right now she just couldn't bring herself to appreciate the efforts.

The ceremony went along about as well as Marie supposed it could have. It was hard to pay attention with the rows and rows of graves surrounding them. As long as his coffin was there, in front of her, as long as he was above ground, then maybe, just maybe, Marie could handle this. It wasn't until a Marine presented her with the neatly folded flag that had just minutes before been draped on her husband's coffin that she started to break down.

Flynn put his arm around her, but there was no comforting her. This flag would be the last reminder of her husband, at least for the next few months. As she began to sob, her nephew began to attempt to comfort her, but not even Flynn could provide the solace she was so desperately seeking.

It hurt Skylar to see her sister hurting so, but she knew that nothing she could say would ease Marie's pain. Out of the corner of her eye she couldn't help but notice the baby bump that couldn't be concealed by the placement of the flag on Marie's stomach. If only Marie could hold on a few more months...if she could just hang on...

Many people got up to speak. They were all basically saying the same thing: how brave Hank had been, what a devoted family man he'd been, that his death would not be in vain. Some tried to say that in death, he'd prevented many young people from dying from the blue formula that he'd sought to remove from the streets. He was a man to be admired, and the community would be a little worse off without him there to protect him.

Finally, Marie could not handle any more strangers pretending that they knew Hank, that they'd loved him as much as she had. Still clutching the flag in her right hand, she stood up and walked carefully but without looking back to where his coffin was, in preparation of its being lowered into the cold, hard ground.

The crowds grew silent as everyone anxiously awaited what she had to say. To most, Marie had seemed closed off, not returning calls, not appearing at any functions, not going to work any more. She didn't care what anyone thought. She had to do this, she had to let the world know who the real Hank Schraeder was, no matter how difficult it was for her to do.

After taking a few deep breaths, she slowly removed the sunglasses and studied the audience carefully. She purposely avoided looking at her sister, instead choosing to remember Hank as only she could.

It had been obvious that the sunglasses were meant to keep people from seeing her tears. She wasn't crying as she spoke, but her tear-stained face spoke volumes about the pain she was in.

"I know..." Marie started, but then looked up in the sky in order to compose herself. "I know..."

Flynn looked helplessly at his mom, not knowing what he could or should do to help his beloved aunt.

"I know that most of you came here to pay your respects to my husband, to share your thoughts and prayers and feelings about him. From what I've heard today, most of you think he was a hero, a strong and brave man who lost his life just doing what only a superhero would do."

"But the truth is..." Marie struggled to continue. "The truth is, Hank wasn't trying to be a hero. He wasn't trying to make the ultimate sacrifice for his community. He had a life to live, a family whom he loved and now," she patted her stomach." A child who he will never know about. As much as it's nice to hear how wonderful my husband is, the truth is, he wasn't always that wonderful."

Flynn looked at his mom, who just patted his hand then turned her attention back to her sister.

"Hank could be stubborn, demanding, obsessive; sometimes he knew which battles to fight and other times he didn't know when to back down. He was strong, most of the time, but only I got to see him when he wasn't feeling so strong, so brave.

"When he was hurt on the job in pursuit of this 'Heisenberg', he didn't think he could go on. He stayed in the hospital a little longer than he should have. He pushed me away at times, not wanting me to see him at his weakest.

"But what I wish he could know...what I wish he could have heard from me...was that even at his lowest he was still the man I fell in love with. He was just hard-headed enough to know that he had to get on his feet, even if it wasn't easy for him. He wasn't a man who admitted defeat easily. But the times in his life when he felt like giving up- well, somehow, eventually, he turned things around and went back to being the man you all saw."

Marie took another deep breath. "He wasn't perfect. He was quick-tempered at times, wasn't the perfect husband, but he was the best friend in the world a man could have. Sure, there were things about him that I would have liked for him to have changed, but now...now...now...I would give anything in the world just to see him one last time, to thank him for saving my life, for being my friend, the man who made me laugh the most, and most of all, for loving me.

"He may not have always showed it, but I always knew that he loved me. He worked hard to give me a good life, a good home, anything I could have wanted. But right now, I would trade all the paychecks, the home, the cars..."

"Anyways," Marie continued. "He was more than just a hero. He was my husband. And I don't have all the words in the world to explain just how much he meant to me. My sister was always the writer in the family. But I just...I don't know. I really don't know."

Skylar walked up to Marie, wrapped her arm around her, then helped her back to her seat.

After a short prayer, the moment that Marie had been dreading had arrived. It was time to lower the coffin into the ground, and she stared helplessly as she knew there was nothing more she could do for her husband, not now anyways.

And just like that, Hank Shraeder was gone, leaving a very broken-hearted widow and unborn child behind. She walked away, not bothering to look back. Quite fittingly, the weather had changed and a light sprinkle started to fall from the sky.

Flynn tried to approach her, but Skylar held him back. She knew Marie well enough to know that she needed to be left alone. When the time was right, she would reach out to them. But for now, even though her heart broke for her sister, Skylar helped Flynn up and they walked to their car, just praying for this day to end.

But for Marie, it would never be over. Never.

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

After driving around for a couple of hours, Marie knew what she had to do next. It was late, not too late where she couldn't get in, but late enough to know that most people wouldn't be visiting a cemetery at that time of evening. What she was hoping for, she didn't know. But the thought of Hank lying alone underground was more than she could take. It probably wouldn't be until the next day or two until they covered the coffin, so in her grieving state of mind she had to take advantage of the moment.

She knew right where to find him. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and tried to gather her thoughts, to the best of her ability anyhow. Sure that she would sound crazy and even more certain that Skylar would think she was nuts, nonetheless she had to say goodbye, in her own way and time.

0000

To most, she had said her goodbyes publicly, and with that she should be able to just move on. But what they didn't know- what they couldn't have known or understood- was that there was still so much unfinished business between them.

Of course, there were so many things she wanted to say, but then again, what was the point? It wasn't as if he would be able to answer her. But there was a painfully aching need burning up inside of Marie that led her to her husband's final resting place. This was the last place she wanted to be, but as Hank had taught her so well during their time together, sometimes a person had to do what needed to be done, whether or not it was easy for them.

Kneeling to the ground, not caring about the unturned pieces of earth that were dirtying her knees, Marie stared in silence at the sight below her. This was it; this was real. Even when Walt had brought her his ring, somehow in the back of her mind she'd tried to convince herself that Hank was still alive, that he would still be coming home to her, that it was just another sick move on her brother-in-law's part. But there was no denying what lay before her, the final piece of evidence that she hadn't wanted but somehow had needed in order to face reality.

Setting down her designer handbag that Hank had bought her ( okay, so she had used his credit card to buy it but still...) Marie knew what she needed to do. Digging furiously, tossing out the contents that were standing in front of her mission- her bottle of prenatal pills, her sunglasses, cards of condolences, bills- finally she found what she was looking for.

Holding up the envelope to try to inspect it (which was difficult in the fading evening light) she reached in the unsealed packet and carefully took out what had led her there on that night. It was the last ultrasound photo that she had taken. . This was actually the longest she had examined it, for other than the physical symptoms that had been continually presenting themselves, Marie had found it rather difficult to process what all those symptoms meant. Yes, she was pregnant, but for some reason she had felt rather detached from her unborn child. Just as Marie had once sworn not to love anyone, let alone Hank, as hard as she tried she just couldn't imagine loving anyone else again. Yes, it was wrong- it was an innocent baby, but not even that could undo the terrible pain and depression she had been suffering.

Maybe she was crazy, but as she looked more carefully at the photo than she ever had, something caught her eye. True, she had to strain a bit, but what had seemed to her from the beginning to be some kind of alien form now looked a bit like a baby. Not just any baby- this was Hank's, and it was all she had left of him.

Carefully bending over with the envelope in her mouth, using her hands to maintain her balance, finally she felt comfortable enough to grab a hold of the envelope and released it, allowing it to fall just to the side of Hank's coffin.

There was so much she wanted to say to him, but it was getting late and she really just wanted to get home. With a heavy heart she managed one little exclamation- "I love you."

She started to say the one word that she'd been avoiding- Goodbye- but she wasn't there, not just yet.

0000

For the next few days she had let all of her calls go to voicemail. Curiously, Skylar had not called, which was somewhat of a relief to Marie. Knowing her sister, she had probably advise Flynn not to call her. Which was probably for the best; it was just too soon to talk to her.

Somehow she had made it to Steve Gomez's funeral. Much like her, his wife had been overwhelmed by all of the support for her and the adoration of her husband. Marie had wanted to take her aside, tell her that she understood better than anyone how Amy must be feeling, but knew that no words can make their situations better. She would call Amy; she just needed a little more time.

Time. They say time heals all wounds, but whoever had said that must never have lost anyone, or even more, never loved anyone. It was all Marie could do to get through each day, let alone grasping the concept that one day she would feel better.

Her ob-gyn had wanted to see her, to do a stress test. They hooked a monitor to her stomach so they could monitor the movement of the fetus, but she was bored to tears. Everything the doctors were doing were procedural, not personal, and Marie was doing what she had to do, nothing more, nothing less.

There were a few beats, a few kicks, but even with the movement of her unborn child Marie seemed unable to form any kind of bond with the child. That worried her doctor, and unbeknownst to her she had called her one-time therapist. Dr. Howard, the psychologist that Marie had seen off and on during her marriage to Hank had been waiting for the call. He hadn't heard a word from Marie since her husband's disappearance, yet he knew all about the situation. Who hadn't? Heisenberg had been America's most wanted man for a brief time, and with his knowledge of her connection to Walter White, Dr. Howard had been most concerned.

But for now, it was Dr. Jenkins, Marie's ob-gyn who was most concerned with Marie's well-being. After reading the results of the fetal stress test, she ordered Marie to an exam room for an ultrasound.

As Dr. Jenkins applied the cold gel to Marie's stomach, she avoided looking at the machine. She closed her eyes, just wanting this to be done and over with as quickly as possible. Looking around at the room, she couldn't help but notice the pale pastel purple that coated the walls. Purple had once been her favorite color. Now all she seemed to notice was black, both in her clothing and the dark circles underneath her eyes that hadn't used to be there.

Dr. Jenkins smiled and lightly tapped Marie on the shoulder. "Hey there. Ready to come back to earth?" She was teasing, but was sincere in hoping to bring Marie's attention to the image on the screen.

"Is it over? Can I get dressed now?" Marie snapped.

"Don't you want to know how your baby is doing?"

"Is it okay?"

"Yes, Marie. Your child is growing and has a strong heartbeat. Everything looks to be just what we'd like to see. How does that make you feel?" the doctor pried.

Marie said nothing. Instead, still in a daze, she nodded.

"Marie...would you like to know what it is?"

Marie looked up at the doctor. "What what is?" she said, puzzled.

"Your baby. I can see clearly the gender. It's up to you, of course, but I think what we've found might please you."

Marie closed her eyes, not quite sure what to do next.

"Marie...please open your eyes. Look at the screen."

Reluctantly she obeyed, not sure of what she was looking at.

"Right there is your child's heartbeat. There are the fingers, your child appears to be sucking its thumb. And there..."

Marie strained to see what the doctor was pointing at.

"Marie...it's a boy. You're having a son."

A son? For so long Marie had never let herself wonder about the child, wonder about its future, wonder anything about it. It had been too painful of a reminder of all that she had lost. But now, for the first time in months, Marie found herself breaking into a smile. A real smile.

Next came the tears which surprised both doctor and mother-to-be. It pleased Dr. Jenkins greatly to see this reaction from her patient.

"Marie...there he is, sucking his thumb. Can you see what I do? This is a 4d ultrasound which gives us a pretty good idea of how your child looks at this point."

Marie strained her eyes to get a closer look, but suddenly she shocked everyone by breaking out into a laugh.

"What is it, Marie?"

"Are those..." Marie pointed to the screen. "is that his cheek?"

Dr. Jenkins smiled and nodded.

"He has chubby cheeks! Chubby cheeks!" Marie laughed.

"Most babies have chubby cheeks, but eventually grow out of that, if that's what you're worried about..."

"No!" Marie laughed as she reached for her purse. Pulling out her wallet, she showed the doctor why she found the idea of her son having chubby cheeks so amusing. The image she provided was one of Hank, who had always had a nice, full face. Now the doctor found herself laughing along with Marie.

"Does this mean that he'll look like...my husband?" Marie sniffed as her laughter returned to a few tears of joy.

"It sure looks like it, doesn't it Marie? Now you can get dressed and make an appointment at the front desk for a month from now."

As the doctor started to leave, Marie halted her. "One more thing..."

"Prenatal vitamins?"

"No," Marie smiled again. She found that she just couldn't stop, at least not for the moment. "I was wondering...could I have a picture?"

The doctor was more than happy to oblige. As she studied her patient's reaction to the photo, she told Marie that she would give her a few minutes to herself. Marie hadn't even heard her. All she knew was that she was having a son, and the thought gave her something that she hadn't had for the longest time- in that tiny black and white photo Marie Shraeder had found her hope.

Tbc


	23. Chapter 23

Skylar was finishing yet another pile of laundry, a seeming-less thankless and never ending chore. True, Flynn helped out around the house, but lately, ever since Walt's funeral, she hadn't asked much of him. He seemed to be really into his new friend Lindsay; in fact, she was there now, helping Flynn with his homework. She didn't know this girl too well, but the fact that her son had a smile on his face these days carried a lot of weight with Skylar.

Finally putting the last pair of rolled up socks into the basket, she headed towards Flynn's room, where she would ask him to put them away. Yes, maybe it seemed uncool for her to ask him to do chores when he had company, but lately she'd been so exhausted that she knew that she had to delegate tasks around the house if she wanted anything accomplished.

Skylar opened the door, and immediately dropped the basket at the sight before her. There, sitting on the bed, were Lindsay and Flynn, holding hands and even more shockingly, to her, were engaged in a kiss. Not the simple nice-to-see you kind, but a real, honest-to-goodness kiss. She gasped, causing Flynn and Lindsay to break away from each other and turn to her.

"Mom!...Mom, don't you...don't you ever knock?" Flynn cried out in frustration.

"Flynn, might I have a word with you for a moment?" Skylar tried to keep her cool, but something about this just really, really didn't sit right with her. She hadn't even given Flynn the normal parental order of keeping a room's door opened when alone with a member of the opposite sex, but then again, he'd never given her any indication that there was a necessity for this.

"Mom, you're..you're embarrassing me! Can't you just..leave me alone?" He started to stand, grabbing for his braces. Skylar attempted to help him, but to her dismay he pulled back abruptly. "I can do this myself!"

Skylar looked puzzled, hurt and confused. All of this was happening too much too soon. Her son...what had he been thinking?

"Flynn...I need to see you in the kitchen. Now," she said quietly but firmly.

Flynn looked helplessly back at Lindsay, offered a quick "I'm sorry", then followed his mother.

"What do you want?"

"Young man..."

"Flynn. My name is Flynn."

Skylar sighed. "Okay, _Flynn, _do you mind explaining yourself to me?"

"Explain what? I'm almost 18! I am not a baby anymore. Lindsay sees...she sees that. Why can't you?" he looked at her.

"I know that, but this is my house and as long as you live in my house you will follow my rules. And rule number one- no make-out sessions with your girlfriend!"

"Mom, you don't understand."

"What, what don't I understand?"

Flynn looked away, not wanting his mother to see him getting emotional. "Mom...please. Lindsay- she's so nice! So...nice! She doesn't make fun of me the way the others do..."

Instantly she raised an eyebrow. "They are still making fun of you? Why didn't you come to me? Why I'm going to..."

He put his hand on his mother's arm. "Mom. It's okay. It's okay. As long...as long as I have Lindsay I don't mind...I don't mind too much what they say. She doesn't make me feel bad for who...for who I am or who he was. She stands up for me, and I know she...she really likes me. Can't you get that, Mom? Someone...a girl...likes me for who I am, not for what's happened to me in..in my life!"

Now it was Skylar's turn to get a little teary eyed. Her baby was growing up, and there wasn't much she could do about it. Every instinct in her wanted to go and settle things with those little nasty brats at the school, but seeing how happy her son was to have a friend- and a girlfriend on top of that! That didn't put her at ease any, but it kind of made her happy to see that someone cared for her boy the way she did.

"Mom.." Flynn started. "Please...please don't cry. I don't want to see anyone cry anymore. I hate everything that's happened...but you have me and Holly and we ..we love you. Okay?" he smiled, and she couldn't help but return the affection.

She walked over to him, kissed the top of his head, and motioned him to go on. "Doors open, all right?"

Flynn shouted out an "okay, Mom," and returned to his friend.

Part of her immediately thought of Walt, what he would have said, how he would have handled this situation. Not the Heisenberg monster that he'd become, but the man she once knew, once loved, once shared a life with. Knowing Walt (as best as anyone could have, she supposed) he probably would have gotten a little kick out of seeing his son get some attention from a girl. If only he hadn't gotten his cancer, would he have turned into the monster that he was at the end, or would he have stood there in the hallway with her, his hand around her waist, smiling at the sight of his son and his first taste of love?

Bringing her back to reality was the sound of the doorbell. Wiping her eyes, Skylar answered it. Today was full of surprises. In front of her was her sister, and if Skylar didn't know any better, she'd say that Marie had a little gleam in her eyes.

"Marie...I'm so glad you came. Come in...we have so much to talk about..."

Marie placed her hand in the air. "I don't want to talk...not about all the crap that we've been through...not yet. I'm still angry with you, just so you know. But I have something...some news...and I..I guess I just needed my sister to talk to," she said quietly.

"Okay. Okay. Whatever you want."

So they sat down on the sofa and before saying another word, Marie started digging through her purse.

Skylar's curiosity got the best of her as Marie presented her with what appeared to be a small photo. Upon further inspection, she saw what it was that her sister wanted to see...it was Marie's baby. Skylar smiled, for this was the first time in any shape or form that she'd seen her sister acknowledge the child at all.

"Oh, Marie..."Skylar sighed happily. This brought back so many memories, especially since her own daughter Holly was still so young.

"Look...look," Marie pointed out to an image while Skylar strained to see what her sister was pointing at. Frustrated, Marie continued. "Don't you see...there are his cheeks. He has Hank's cheeks!"

"So he doe...wait a minute," Skylar looked up at Marie, stunned at the smile that had spread across Marie's face. "A he...does this mean..."

Marie tearfully nodded. "it's a boy. A boy! Hank would be so..."

Skylar nodded. "He would be so happy. And so proud of you."

"For what? I've been a terrible mother, or mother-to-be, or whatever. I haven't bought a single thing for the baby, not a diaper or a bottle or anything," Marie replied, the smile starting to fade.

"It's okay," Skylar took her hands ."You have time. You have us..Flynn and Holly and I would do anything to help you, I want you to know that. I know you're mad at me, but please...let me help you. I just want you to be happy, even if it only lasts a few seconds or minutes or whatever. I really just want to help you..."

Sensing a change in Marie's mood, Skylar apologized. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to upset you. I just..."

"It's okay. I know. I know," Marie sighed. "It's just that I've always depended on everyone around me to take care of me. First Daddy, then you, then Hank...and now...and now...I have someone that needs me to take care of him! And I have no idea how to take care of myself, let alone another life. What am I going to do?"

"You're going to be fine. You're going to be all right- I promise. Even better than all right. You'll see that, maybe not now, but trust me, the first time you hold your son..." Skylar waited for a response from her sister, but got nothing. So instead she changed to a different approach.

We're going to get you some things for the baby, a crib, some clothes, maybe some books. What about...I feel bad for bringing this up..."

"What?" Marie answered anxiously. "I really need any suggestions I can get at this point...:"

"What about your therapist? Have you talked to him lately?"

Marie shook her head.

"Just a thought," Skylar patted Marie's hand. "Now how about we go shopping for a frame for this beautiful little boy of yours? We can get a coffee or something..."

"I'd like that. I really would."

For the first time in months, Marie had found herself actually looking forward to taking care of business for the day. It felt strange, but she actually was looking forward to anything that helped to get her mind off of the terrible pain that had become her life. She patted her stomach for the first time, smiled, then looked up at Skylar.

"You ready?" Skylar grabbed her keys. "let me just..I have to tell Flynn we're leaving. And then I have to get Holly ready. Just give me a few, okay?"

Marie smiled and nodded. Just for the moment, before Walt had taken away her life, she was feeling somewhat like herself. Not just her old self. But a mother, a sister, an aunt. As she looked at the set of wedding bands worn on a chain around her neck (her fingers had long since swelled up a bit, and there was no place better for Hank's band to have been than close to her heart), she closed her eyes and just thought about Hank. Not about the way he died, or the bad things...only about the man that she had loved. And it was kind of a nice thought.

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

_Hank had been acting strangely for some reason. Whenever Marie had tried to make plans for a date, he would either say he had to work overtime or that he had some errands to run. In her heart, she could see where all of this was leading. It was obvious- Hank didn't want to be with her anymore, but didn't have the heart to tell her so._

_She didn't know how she felt about this. As hard as she had fought her feelings for him, in the end, Hank's devotion, adoration and protection of her had won out. Without the slightest intention, Marie had found herself totally falling for his charms and affections and it hadn't taken long for her to realize what she'd been denying to her sister and to Walt and to everyone who asked- Marie was in love with Hank, and had even been allowing herself as far as to start to picture a life with him._

_As she found herself staking out in front of Hank's place, waiting for him to come home so she could confront him, thoughts of the past that she hadn't thought about in years came to her mind._

_0000_

_She had known she was a beautiful woman ever since she was little. It all started with hers and Skylar's father- to him, Skylar was the 'smart' one, while Marie was the looker. It was understood that Skylar would go on to college and have a future, maybe as a lawyer or a doctor, while Marie would do well for herself if she found herself a lawyer or a doctor and made her living as little more than eye candy._

_Growing up, Skylar had resented Marie for these labels. There was so much she wanted to do with her life, maybe become a famous and respected author. She had always taken to writing as a way to deal with the stress of her home life. For some reason it was easier to express her feelings on paper than it would have been to address her hurt feelings with her parents._

_So naturally their parents spent more money on Marie's wardrobe, and the one time Sklar questioned her mother about it, it was the explanation that her mother gave that would only increase Skylar's low self-worth._

"_Skylar, dear, it's so hard to find clothes that would look right on you. When you're a certain size like your sister is, clothes are available left and right."_

_It had never occurred to Skylar that there was anything wrong with her weight. To any outside observer, Skylar was a fit, attractive young woman, but due to her mother's constant criticism, Skylar had always grown up feeling like things would be better if only she had lost those extra "three or four pounds." _

_There was one time when Skylar had a party to go to. Her mother had bought her some plain, vanilla looking dress, but when it was time for Marie to go on her first 'date', she had received a beautiful purple dress that was sure to be quite pleasing for Marie's date._

_Yes, Skylar was aware that she was older than Marie. But just for once, she wanted to know what it was like to be Marie, to feel beautiful and confident and sure of herself as her sister seemed to be. So a seventeen year old Skylar tried on the purple dress, and took her time admiring herself in the mirror._

_But to her dismay, Marie, instead of afternoon cheerleading practice, had came home early and caught Skylar in her room, wearing the dress that their mother had bought her._

"_Mom!" Marie called out while not taking her eyes off of Skylar._

_When she arrived, their mother took one look at Skylar and instead of being supportive or affectionate, she just snickered, then turned to Marie. "It's okay, dear. We can buy you another one."_

"_Maybe.." Marie looked over at the hurt Skylar, and spoke up. "Maybe she can keep this one. I don't really need it. I have lots of clothes anyways."_

"_But Marie..."_

"_No, Mom. Skylar looks pretty, and I want her to have it. It's okay." She smiled at Skylar and then walked away, leaving both of the other female members of her family to wonder what had gotten into Marie._

_0000_

_Marie didn't know why she had been thinking of her sister. She'd always heard that twins had a special sense of intuition, that told each one when the other was in trouble. But on that night she decided to call Skylar._

_What Skylar had to tell her was most shocking. She was pregnant. The idea of an unplanned pregnancy to an unwed young girl who was working as a secretary to help pay for her college was kind of crazy. All through their lives, Marie was the crazy one, the spontaneous one. For some reason, even though she herself had lost her virginity years ago, Marie had just assumed that Skylar was too "good" to ever do anything like that with a guy._

_It was at that moment that the tables truly turned in the family dynamics. No longer the center of her parent's world (that spot was reserved for their first grandbaby), Marie started to question her own identity. For so long she had had it easy, easier than most and certainly easier than Skylar. So with the new turn in the relationship Marie now felt neglected, misunderstood, unappreciated. _

_0000_

_Ultimately Marie had been thrilled when Skylar and Walt decided to marry. Not only was Walt a very nice and stable man, perfect for their family (how ironic those sentiments would come to be!) but Skylar seemed to be adjusting to her new role as a wife and mother quite well. Walt did all right for himself, he had a nice, steady job, and while he and Skylar were not wealthy, they were comfortable enough for him to buy them a home and for Skylar to be able to stay home and take care of their newborn son, for a while anyways. _

_Marie didn't know if she would be able to do what Skyar was doing- raising a handicapped child, giving up on her schooling and staying home to take care of her man. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but she'd just started her own career in the medical profession that she couldn't imagine trading her lifestyle for anything._

_It was funny, Marie remembered recalling to Hank. All through their lives both she and her sister had struggled with their identities. Yes, it was nice that people always told her that she was pretty, but in the end, it really didn't help her confidence. She felt like she had something to prove to people, to try to get people to see that she could be "smart" too, and that was something she had to learn to deal with._

_The night she'd confided all of that in Hank was the night that he decided right then and there that Marie was the woman for him. There was something so appealing to him, that played on his sense of needing to protect everyone around him that not only had led him to a career as a drug enforcement agent, but also helped in his appreciating Marie's struggles more than anyone else in her life ever had._

_00000_

_Getting married was a huge step. Yes, Skylar and Walt (whom Hank had been starting to see as more than a potential brother in law, but as family) were married and seemed to be quite happy. Hank himself had grown up in a secure, pretty happy family. But marriage...that was huge. _

_He'd not even confided in Walt was intentions towards Marie were. Some things a guy had to figure out for himself, he'd believed. But as he started spending less time with Marie and more time to himself, at the malls, around "happy couples" the better he started to feel about his decision._

_He knew what Marie was thinking- she had accused him of having a girlfriend, of putting his career ahead of her. There was no way for him to explain to her that he wasn't pulling back from Marie, but rather was planning on taking the hugest step a person could in order to be close to the one they loved._

_0000_

_Finally, at nine o'clock at night, Hank arrived at his home, only to see a very furious Marie waiting for him on his porch._

"_Marie!" he laughed out of nervousness. "What are you doing here?"_

"_We had a date tonight, or did you forget?" she accused, with her hands on her hips._

"_Yeah but I called and left a message...something came up..."_

"_Don't give me that bullshit! That line might pacify your other girlfriends, but I'm not like those sluts you've been running around with."_

"_Marie, have you hit your head? What in the hell are you talking about? Other women?" Hank didn't know whether to be flattered or annoyed._

"_Do you think I'm stupid, Henry?" She only used his official first name when she was really really mad. "I know you're not with me, you're not at work..."_

"_How would you know that unless..."_

"_Yes," her hands excitedly did a lot of flying around, with Marie being totally caught up in the emotion of the moment. "I did call your work. I know you haven't been working overtime like you claim..."_

"_That doesn't mean a damn thing!" Hank's voice now started to raise in tune with Marie's._

"_Oh, yeah...then how about me? If you're not with me and you're not at work, then who are you with?"_

_Hank couldn't help but laugh, mostly out of nervousness, but the idea that he would cheat on Marie was pretty funny. "It's not like that, Marie. Now why don't you get your pretty little panties out of that bunch and come over and give me a kiss..."_

"_A kiss? You lie to me and avoid me like the plague for weeks and you want a kiss? Well, buster, I have something you can kiss all right..." Marie continued to rage._

_It wasn't supposed to be like this. He had it all planned out. After weeks of thinking, soul-searching, Hank had made up his mind that he truly did want to spend the rest of his life with Marie. "Come on now, baby, don't make a big deal out of nothin..."_

_Now Marie was even more angry than ever. "Nothing? Nothing? I wait for weeks by the phone waiting for you to call, to tell me you've been sick, or even better, that you missed me...and you stand here calling my feelings nothing? Forget it, Hank. I'm not doing this. I'm out of here."_

_Marie turned to leave, but what came out of his mouth next took her completely by surprise. "Marry me."_

_Not sure if this was his idea of a sick joke, she slowly turned around. "What...what did you just say?"_

_He sighed and pulled out the ring from the inside pocket of his jacket that he'd been carrying around for weeks now. "I want to marry you, Marie. Do you want...?"_

_Having thought of every possible scenario in her mind but this one, Marie quickly went from being majorly pissed to finding herself happier than she'd ever imagined herself being. "You really want to marry me?" she grinned._

"_Where on earth do you think I've been? Jesus, do you think I'm stupid, Marie? I know I'm no Einstein the way Walt is, but I do know that when the most beautiful girl in the world thinks you've hung the moon, then there's no way you can let her go. I just...I just wanted to find the right ring."_

_He held out the ring, and to his relief she gladly inspected it. Examining it closely, she started to ask all sorts of questions. What was the cut, the quality, where he got it._

_He was a guy's guy, and he didn't really know much about what she was talking about. All he knew was that he'd seen a diamond so pretty he knew that he had it to give it to Marie. "Jesus Christ, Marie. It's just a rock!"_

_Knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere else on the subject with him (she knew she could count on Skylar to help her to evaluate the ring properly) she held out her hand._

"_What now?" Hank asked, frustrated._

"_Aren't you going to put it on my hand?" Marie grinned, her voice softening._

_His hands shaking, well aware that by now the neighbors were staring, Hank did one better. He got down on one knee and in front of everyone, he gave Marie the proper proposal that he knew she deserved._

"_Marie...you know I ain't the best with words. All I know is...you've made me a very happy guy, and I would be a fool to walk away from you. I want you to know...I would never leave you for anything in the world. Would you do me the honor...would you marry me?"_

_As all the neighbors watched in joyful anticipation, Marie nodded through her tears and gave Hank the answer he'd been so afraid of not receiving. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes!"_

_And, still in front of the audience, Hank carefully slid the ring on her finger. Marie knew right then and there that she would never, ever take it off._

_0000_

_Now she was pregnant, and Walter White, murderer, drug kingpin, liar stood in front of her, presenting her with Hank's wedding band. It was only at that moment that reality sank in. There was no way her husband would have willingly parted with that ring. To death till we part, they had promised each other. And now, thanks to Walter, one of Hank's promises to her had come true. _

_TBC_


End file.
